𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄, damiano david

━━𝟓𝟕.𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐥

I took a deep breath and prepared myself to have a panic attack or something, but nothing came. I was very calm and composed, my thoughts immediately shot to every possible scenario that could await me in the hospital and I imagined it.

The woman on the phone, who turned out to be an office worker at the hospital and had been asked by the police to call me, gave me the address of the hospital and I wrote it down on a piece of paper from the desk, which was still blank.

When I hung up and closed my eyes for a moment, Damiano stood up, a worry line was on his forehead, but because I was not at all upset, he did not seem particularly alarmed.

"Who was there?" he asked me anyway, touching me on the arm, "A staff member from the hospital, my father had a car accident, she asked me to come to the hospital," I explained to him calmly and matter-of-factly, Damiano's eyes widened, "Like a car accident?" he asked in shock, "How is he?"

I shrugged, "She said he's not well, I think he's dying," I answered his question and it looked quite like Damiano didn't know what to say. It surprised me because he usually knew exactly what to say, but maybe now, for the first time, I was the one keeping a cool head.

"I have to go there, it would be shit not to visit him, even if he is an asshole, besides I think the police will want to talk to me if he dies," I said quickly and Damiano nodded curtly, "You know you don't owe your father anything, right? You don't have to go there," he said.

"I know, but I want to go," I replied firmly and Damiano knew there was no point in resisting. I was wearing one of Damiano's jumpers and leggings, so all I had to do was put on my shoes, which were down the hall.

"It's okay if I take your car, isn't it? I'll write to you when I get to the hospital," I assured Damiano and was about to kiss him goodbye on the cheek when he stopped me, "What are you talking about?" he asked, "I'm certainly not going to let you drive to the hospital on your own now," he sounded determined.

I'll be fire and cold
a shelter during winter
I'll be what you breathe
I'll understand what's inside of you

"I love you," I said softly and kissed him on the cheek. He reached for my hand and intertwined it with his, "I love you Coraline." he said and I smiled, then we left the room and the house and made our way to the hospital.

We were silent on the drive to the hospital, the radio turned off by Damiano as he sped along the highway. Relatively speaking, I was very calm and collected, but the closer we got to the hospital, the more tense it became.

What would I find there? Would my father be awake and would I have to go to him, or was he already in such a bad state that he wasn't awake at all? The woman on the phone had only given me a little information about his condition.

Almost all my life I had been afraid of this man, hated him and often wished that something bad would happen to him, but now that he was in hospital and might not survive, it felt strange. At the end of the day, he had always been a part of my life, albeit not a good one, but he had always been there.

My breathing was steady and regular as Damiano turned into the car park of the brightly lit hospital. In the darkness it almost seemed to glow, many windows were lit from the inside and I had to avert my eyes at the thought of how many sick people were behind these walls, some better or worse.

Damiano took my hand and led me inside the bright building. Inside there was the typical hospital smell of disinfectant and death, a familiar mixture that I had smelled too often in my life.

Again and again, this smell took me back to the time after the car accident, when I had been in hospital for days, Sophia too.

Damiano squeezed my hand and that distracted me from the thoughts that wanted to engulf me and make me a helpless little girl again.