It Started Without Love

Chapter 45

"Will you live in my condo again when we go back to Manila?" Napalingon ako kay Liam na nakaupo sa kama habang ako naman ay nasa harap ng vanity mirror ng kwarto namin dito sa resort.

I saw hesitation in his eyes.

"Uhm, I think I'll just gonna stay on our house for the meantime." I calmly said. I know that it's confusing for him kasi nagkabati na kami pero I'm still in the process of taking all the informations on my mind. It's been years since we lived together.

"But- I mean, okay. Can I visit you? Or even drive you from your house to the hospital." I smiled at him when I caught him looking at me in the mirror.

"Halos night shifts ako ngayong buwan na to eh. But yes, you can visit me naman."

"I don't mind. I can still drive you though." He still pushed his idea.

"But Liam, you will be so tired if you do. I know you're busy in handling all your clients, especially now that you have to face Maureen's family para isettle ang tinanggihan mong kaso nila."

"Let's not go to that topic again Margareth." He dismissively told me.

"But Liam, I am not stopping you to handle that. I know that it is part of your work and besides-"

"I said no, and that's final."

"Liam-"

"And what Therese Margareth? You'll gonna leave me again if you heard things about me and Maureen through the media?! I know media are cruel. I know that they will make issues especially now that you are back! I know they'll dig unto our past and link it to Maureen's so called obsession over me!" Nagulat ako sa pagtataas niya ng boses. Napatayo din siya.

Naglakad siya papunta sa balcony. I saw how he deeply breath. Nakatukod ang dalawa niyang kamay sa barandilyas.

I hesitantly followed him there and gently hugged him from the back. I felt him stiffened. I just stayed like that for a while until he slowly relaxed. He held my hands that are on his stomach.

"I trust you." I said to him. Ganun pa rin ang posisyon namin.

"But I won't give you reason to leave me again Reese. I can't wait another long years that I cannot go near you. I can't bear seeing you again looking at me with anger in your eyes. I can't." He weakly said.

Binitiwan ko siya, nabigla pa ako ng humarap siya agad at niyakap ako ng mahigpit.

"No! Don't walk away from me again."

I almost cried, pinipigilan ko lang ang emosyon ko dahil ayaw ko nang umiyak. Masaya na kami eh.

"No, of course not. I'm not walking away from you Liam. I'm not going anywhere. Calm down. Let me go, and let's talk properly." I calmly said to him. Ang higpit ng yakap niya. I hugged him gently and patted his back.

I really caused trauma to him. But I also have to note to myself that I also suffered. I've been alone at my lowest point in life. I know I have my family ang friends back then but I chose not to tell them my heartaches because I don't want them to take sides. I don't want them to hate Liam or hate me.

Now that we're good, I know that I also have to open up to him about my struggles but until now, I am still not courageous enough to admit it. I am still in the process of healing and acceptance.

After the weekend that we had spent in the resort, we are back in the city. Nakasunod lang talaga si Liam sa akin for the whole duration of our travel dahil hindi naman kami pwedeng mag-iisang sasakyan since we both brought our car. Dideretso na ako sa duty ko since tapos na din ang leave ko kaya maaga talaga kaming umalis.

"What time is your off?" Nasa parking na kami ng hospital. Sumunod pa talaga siya dito.

"Around 8 or 9 pm, depende kung walang mga emergencies. Why?" I am busy fetching my things, hindi ako nakaharap sa kanya.

"Uhm, I'll just wait for you here then." Napatingin ako sa kanya at sa wrist watch ko. Seriously? Its just 9:30 in the morning!

"Are you joking?" Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

"No."

"Liam, you have work!"

"No, nagleave ako for a week."

"Anong leave? Diba ang dami mo pang pending works. Liam, wag ako ang malokoloko mo. Sasapakin kita."

"I swear-"

"No! Pumasok ka don, nagtext so Brent. Gago ka daw, wag mo siya tambakan ng trabaho."

I heard him cuss and I almost laugh. Ang mukha niya parang natalo sa sugal eh.

"Sa condo mo pa naman sana ako uuwi mamaya pero parang nagbago na isip ko. Parang nakakadistorbo na yata ako sayo, ayaw mo na pumasok kung magkasama tayo so, I'll just stay at home then."

"No, I'll get going now. I'll just sign some papers ang settle some arrangements." Inistart niya na agad ang sasakyan niya. Para talagang bata to.

I walked toward his car's window. Linapitan ko siya at hinalikan sa pisngi.

"Take care, hon." I saw him almost not blinking. Maybe because I called him again using our endearment.

I waved at him and finally walked towards the emergency room where I am assigned today. I saw how he smiled and started his engine. Before I finally got inside, he waved at me and then drive away.

I can really feel the happiness today. I feel so light, walang bigat na dinadala dahil wala na akong galit. Wala na akong iniiwasan pa. Wala na akong takot na baka magkita kami at masaktan na naman ako dahil hindi ko naman alam ang mga totoong pangyayari. Wala na akong takot na baka mapagsalitaan ko na naman siya ng masasakit.

Maybe it's really the openness that wr lacked before. Dahil sa pagiging hesitant namin towards each other, we drifted more and more and then parted ways eventually. We parted ways with a lot of questions and regrets.