It Started Without Love

Chapter 42

Tahimik lang talaga si Liam hanggang sa makapasok na kami sa loob ng aming kwarto.

"Maliligo ka?" Tumango lang ito at pumasok na agad sa closet. Paglabas ay tanging towel na lang ang nakabalot sa katawan nito.

Nagbihis na lang din ako sa closet dahil hindi na ako maliligo.

Paglabas niya ay diretso lang din siya sa closet at nakabihis na ng lumabas. Dumiretso ito sa balcony dala-dala ang cellphone niya.

"Liam." He glance at me. Nasa hamba lang ako ng pinto ng tawagin ko siya.

"Let's sleep." Bumuntong-hininga lang ito at napipilitang tumayo. Inilahad ko ang kamay ko sa kanya at alam naman niya na agad ang gusto ko. Inilapag niya ang phone niya sa kamay ko at nagdirediretso na sa kama.

"Liam, can we talk?" Pakipot talaga 'to eh. Nahiga na siya sa kama kaya't lumapit na ako doon at humiga sa tabi niya. Tinalikuran niya naman ako. Natawa na talaga ako ng tuloyan.

"Oh my God, really Liam?!" Ang sakit na ng tiyan ko dahil sa pagtawa ko.

"Ewan ko sayo. Kailan ka pa naging maingay at palabiro?" Inis na saad niya.

"At kailan ka pa naging isip-bata?" Natatawa pa rin ako. Nakatalikod pa rin siya sa akin. I already turned off the light at ang tanging nagbibigay liwanag na lang sa amin ay ang liwanag na nagmumula sa balcony. Hindi namin isinara ang kurtina dito.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap siya mula sa likod. I rested my chin on his shoulder. I felt him stiffened.

"You refused a case?" He remained not facing me.

Hinila ko siya paharap sa akin.

"You refused your client's case?" Isinubsob niya ang mukha niya sa leeg ko.

"I don't want to be near their family again." Maikli niyang saad.

"Why Liam?"

"I don't want to be near her. I don't want to give you reasons to leave me again. I will gladly refuse every cases na sa tingin ko ay magiging dahilan para iwan mo ako." He burried his face harder on my neck. I can feel his lips now when he talks.

"I don't care kahit na hindi na ako magpractice. Just don't leave me again." He begged.

"Let's talk Liam. From the start. Let's talk about our past now." He tightened his hug.

"No. You will get hurt again and you'll leave me again."

"Liam, no. Hindi ako aalis. I just want us to be clear of our past. Gusto kong pag-usapan natin. Kung anong nangyari ng naghiwalay tayo-"

"Hindi tayo naghiwalay! I just let you pursue your dreams in New York but I've been with you all the time! All the damn time baby, I'm there!"

"What?" I already had the hint but hearing it straight from him na nandoon siya all the time, iba pa rin.

"I was there. During your hard times. I am watching you from afar! During your fashion shows, I was there! Supporting you from afar, trying hard to stop myself to rip out all of those men's eyes! I am that freaking unknown heart emoji admirer of yours! Damn, it's so hard being a stalker but I did all my best to be one because I know you're so angry of me." Hingal na hingal na siya ngunit nakasubsob pa rin ang kanyang mukha sa aking dibdib. He tightened his hug again around me.

"At the mall before your graduation, when Kisha bump into you. I was there. Lalapitan ko na sana siya ngunit ikaw ang nakita kong kasama niya. I want to hug you that time but I know I am not allowed. Instead of getting near you, instead of showing myself to you, I ran away. I asked Laila to get Kisha. Ako 'yong tumawag sa kanya. Ako 'yon but you didn't know."

"Liam, breathe." I calmly said. He is almost hyperventilating. God, I didn't imagine all of this.

"Liam, how about the divorce? Did you-"

"Damn Therese Margareth, mamamatay muna ako bago ka makakapag-asawang muli kung gusto mo. Hanggang buhay ako, you will be a Suarez. Hindi tayo maghihiwalay. Maghiwalay man tayo ng bahay, hindi sa kasal." Mariin niyang saad.

"So you're a stalker huh." I teased him. I don't know where did I get all the courage to be this tough in front of him. Hindi man lang ako umiyak sa lahat ng rebelasyon.

"After you left me, I almost failed all my subjects. Damn. Nasuntok pa ako ni dad dahil kung malalaman mo daw, hinding hindi mo na ako babalikan." Natatawa niyang saad.

"Dad? As in my dad?"

"Yeah. I begged them. I kneeled in front of them just for them to give me another chance. They are so willing to fund our divorce. Na kahit hindi na ako makipagcooperate, magagawan nila ito ng paraan. But I begged them."

"Oh God, Liam. I did not expect that-"

"Tat's baby is not mine. Naunahan lang ako ng takot para isipin ang lahat. Hindi ko na naisip ang nga possibilities na hindi akin 'yon dahil ng makita kitang paalis na, takot na lang ang bumalot sa buong sistema ko. Hindi na ako makagawa ng paraan para itanggi. I was just so dumbfounded." He looked at me this time. I stared at him too. His eyes are so full of emotions.

"Nang magkausap na kami, doon ko pa nalaman ang lahat. I tried to reach out to you but you are so distant. Nalaman ko na lang na aalis ka na. At that time, I felt like dying."

"I can't stand seeing all of you here. Masakit Liam. I already fell for you at that time and then that happened." He kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry. I'm so weak. I love Tatiana like a sister. I have this urge to give everything to her just like what I'd do to Laila and ate Lindsy. I don't know why, I think it's the guilt within me dahil ako ang rason kung bakit nagkaroon siya ng phobia towards other people. Nagkaroon siya ng takot sa ibang tao, and as her defense mechanism, she tends to hate those people na kinakatakutan niya at inaaway."

"No need to tell me about her, I know her situation." I calmly said and then I cupped his face.

"I think this is what we lack before. Our openness towards each other. We're both hiding something. We're both afraid na magsabi ng saloobin natin." He nodded.

"Please don't leave me again. I promise, I'll be honest to you all the damn time. I'll be good, doc. I'll be an obedient attorney, doc. Just don't leave me again. I'll die. You're my medicine. Please don't leave me again."

I hugged him tight until we both doze off to sleep. Both looking forward for a new day as our new beginning.