The Boy From The Bridge - Jakehoon

Chapter 51: Recent Developments 4/6

Gi turned her face, initially one of annoyance at being interrupted, to greet her visitor. It promptly softened substantially upon seeing Sunghoon. "Sunghoonie!" She exclaimed.

"Hi Gi, um..." Sunghoon said softly before bowing to Gi's mother and closing the door on her. When it had shut he turned back to Gi.

She was staring at him with a quizzical expression, no doubt brought about by his unsubtle actions of seeking privacy. "Um, I wanted to speak - it's about, um, well I need your advise?"

"You want my advise?" She asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, I, I'm going to get a tuxedo and I don't really know what I should be looking for?"

Gi's eyes looked skeptical, "Okay... well, I mean, you're slim so nothing too tight - suits that wrap around muscles belong to the Avengers, not teenage boys. It needs to sit softly on your frame. Only a maximum of two tones of black and I would say, don't go in for a pocket square - you're not James Bond"

Sunghoon nodded as he tried to listen.

"Oh and you need to learn how to do a bow tie. No self respecting girl is going to take you seriously if you're wearing a clip on"

"Right" Sunghoon said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Sunghoon?" Gi said assertively making Sunghoon look up and into her gaze. "You didn't come here for advise about a tux did you?"

Nervously, Sunghoon shook his head. "No, um. Gi - I..." Sunghoon felt peculiar. He knew what he wanted to say. He trusted Gi and was confident that she would be reassuring, sensitive and accepting. His declaration of his sexuality was to be a formality but his subconscious was overriding his senses. Sunghoon felt himself begin to choke up, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "Gi?"

"Sunghoon? What's wrong?", now concerned Gi came towards Sunghoon. Embracing him a gentle hug, rubbing his back.

"Gi it's me, I..." Sunghoon had to take a breath, "I think I might be...". The last word felt like it would never come. Saying it out loud felt like an enormous admission, as much to himself as to Gi. How could a word be such an obstacle. Sunghoon thought of Jake, the brave runaway who possessed his heart - Jake wouldn't be stopped by a simple word, therefore, neither would he. "Gi - I'm, gay."

Sunghoon felt the embrace he was in tighten, simultaneously he felt the tears begin to flow. He became incapable of stopping them as he began to sob. "Oh Hoonie - I love you, you know that?"

Sunghoon muttered an affirmative "mhmm" into Gi's shoulder

"Then why are you sad?" Gi asked.

"Be... Because it's scary. Because I have to hide it."

"Why do you have to hide who you are?"

"Because I'm at school Gi. You remember what sch..." Sunghoon coughed to clear his throat, "... school is like?"

"Thanks for the cough Hoon. Yes I remember. It's tough, kids are mean, hell, people are mean."

"I don't want to go through all of that. School's hard enough without marking yourself as different, what's the upside?"

"I... I don't know - Hoonie, only you'll know when the right time to tell anyone is. But thank you for telling me". Gi pulled back from the embrace to look fondly at him. 

Sunghoon looked back, smiling at her. Although he felt undignified as his nose had become runny with snot that had being produced from his crying, Sunghoon was relieved to have told Gi. He wiped his hand across his mouth to clean himself up. "Thank you Gi - I... I just wanted  someone to know."