The Boy From The Bridge - Jakehoon

Chapter 117: Terminus Est 5/7

Despondency burned through Sunghoon as he sat and listened to the dramatic and absolute conversation being had around him. While trying his best to go along with it and partake in the conversation, the effort was a shield to hide himself and his internal wrangling from prying eyes. 

He had always being good at that. Concealing his emotions and processing his thoughts silently. Until Jake had came into his life that is. Then things had begun to change. Silence would only get so far, an action had seemed to lead to better outcomes than wallowing in the depths of his mind. 

Now however he was back there. Quietly listening and digesting everything. Jungkook was reckless, that wasn't new. Jungwon, inevitably, needed to face up to his actions sooner or later, that also 'wasn't news.' But Jake's declarations of his feelings had been delivered in such a way that Sunghoon had to repeat the words in his mind several times over in order to properly and surely take them in. 

Jake was afraid, worried and careful. All that was still the same but the doubt Jake had towards himself and by proxy their relationship was now public. The airing of the metaphorical dirty laundry was as unpalatable as it might be and Sunghoon could feel his throat dry as he thought. 

It wasn't the idea that Jake might not want a relationship that surprised Sunghoon. He had always regarded himself as being the one who was punching above his weight class when it came to the athletic, academic and aesthetic merits of the two of them. For that he had been lucky. 

What did irk Sunghoon was the mixed signals and messages he was on the receiving end of. Since their outing Jake had tossed left and right between fear and enthusiasm. Just last night they had engaged one another in a naked passion - had that meant nothing beyond lustful indulgence? Sunghoon found himself resigned to ask and then conclude. 

Sunghoon sighed as Jimin spoke to Jake, "Leave him alone." He felt uneasy as he awaited Jake's response. The inevitable, muffled agreement of 'you're right' felt like it would be uttered from Jake's lips in milliseconds. And then that would be it. Jake would be gone and they would be done. Finished.

He could feel his heart slip into a free-fall inside his chest. It raced without restraint to the pits of stomach and seemingly couldn't stop falling. Sunghoon clenched his fists as he braced for impact. 

"Do you think that's what's best?" Jake asked. 

"I do." Jimin replied, "I'm sure Jungkook would like to be everything and more for you but he can't be. He's liable to get himself into situations such as this that jeopardise not just himself but the very same people he is trying to help." 

Jake paused for a moment as if taking Jimin's words in. "Then what will I do?" 

"That I'm afraid, is up to you. I don't know you Jake and I don't really have any intention of involving myself in your life like Jungkook might. You have a family right? A mum and a dad? Go back to them like a normal teenager instead of trying to hitch a life on the back of someone else."

Jake had no response forthcoming and in the end it was Jungwon who delivered the attempted rebuttal. "How do you know that's good for Jungkook? He likes Jake, he cares about him - he traveled across the planet to save him - don't you think that shows that there's more the slight degree of..." Jungwon floundered for the right word, snapping his fingers as he attempted to search his internal lexicon for it, "Symbiosis?"

Jimin took an audible breath and fixed his gaze on Jake, "Jungkook travelled across the planet for you?"

"He uh did." Jake answered. "Sunghoon and him went and saved me in London"

"Saved you? From what?"

"Myself... I guess" Jake placed a hand on his heart. " I felt like what you've said, that I am a risk to those around me. A present and ever growing danger to their wellbeing. I was going to go it alone."