My Playboy Cowboy

3 [If I Wasn't Different]

One word one fucking word for this place and that word would be LOUD!!! It was very loud in this apartment and it had to do with the people here and by people I mean Killer, Kid, Heat and Wire who ran a car shop downstairs under the apartment that was built for us.

I tried to get some homework done but with all the clinking and clanging going on downstairs I could only get half of it done. I sighed to myself before putting my pencil down and heading downstairs to see what the boys were doing.

"Hey guys!" I shouted out so they could hear me over the sounds of their work.

"What's up?" Killer asked when he looked up from the hood of a car he was fixing.

"Ya need any elp?" I asked as I leaned over the side to look at the engine inside.

"Not really, get your homework done?" he asked as he cleaned his hands off of oil.

"Half of it" I said to him with a shrug.

He nodded his head knowing that the sound wasn't helping me with my work and trying to get it done. I glanced at the clock at the wall to my right seeing it was around dinner and I'm sure the boys didn't eat at all, I walked pass Killer as he returned to working; I walked over to Kid he was working under the car so I kicked his foot which made him jump and making him hit his head.

"God damn it!" he shouted which made me giggle when he rolled out from under it looking at me.

"What?" he asked as he held his head.

"Ya boyz want the usual?" I asked him placing my hands on my hips.

"Sure whatever" he said before returning back under the car.

I turned around and grabbed my purse heading out to grab the boys their dinner, I already ate while doing homework but knowing them so well I know that they always get caught up in their work that they don't remember to eat sometimes.

Walking a few miles from our place I came to our favorite fast food place, heading inside greeting the people there with a smile like they did to me always. They always were very nice to me and were patient with me and sometimes helping me to say the right things; but since I have been coming here for like ten years now they already knew what the boys liked and always whipped it up with saying 'the usual' to me which I always nodded yes to.

I waited for the food to be ready just looking through my phone about some places to go to college after I leave high school but it was always hard to find a good one since I wanted to do something interesting but what I had no idea right now.

"Lilly?" a voice called out to me which made me look up seeing Ace there in front of me.

"Oh hi" I said to him with a small smile which he returned.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me.

"Oh just gettin' food for the boyz" I answered.

Now that I was looking at him I noticed that he was wearing some basketball gear from the school which made me wonder if he played the game and was done with practice or something.

"Whadda ya doing here?" I asked as I tilted my head a bit to the left.

"Oh got done with late practice with some buddies of mine" he said when he pointed to the clothes he was wearing.

I was about to ask about the practice and how it went but out of nowhere a girl came out of nowhere and wrapped her arms around Ace's right arm tightly giggling.

"Hey Ace, what shall we get?" she asked with a big smile on her face as she giggled.

Ace was answering her but my ears didn't pick it up since my smile turned into a frown slowly, seeing how he smiled and chuckled at her which made her smile and giggle. Her hair was a beautiful purple color with her brown eyes, perfect skin and body for sure unlike mine which was covered in bruises and scars from working on cars in the shop. And how she talked only reminded me on how I talked to people.

Soon my name was called which made me look seeing the food was ready for the boys as the young boy placed it on the counter.

"I'll see ya later, Ace" I said to him with a small smile.

"Later Lilly" he said with a small wave returning his attention back to the girl again.

I sighed as I took the bag and paid for the food, heading to the door but not without hearing this before I left.

"Isn't she the girl who talks weird?" the girl asked Ace.

"Yeah she's my friend, why?" he said before asking.

"Because she's weird, why be friend with someone like that?" she said to him which made me sadder.

I closed the door still looking down at the ground as I walked back to the apartment thinking about what she said about me; she was right I was weird but I couldn't help that I tried to do my best to talk normally but it just came out differently and I couldn't help but think about what else she said. Why would Ace want to be friends with me? Why even bother with me? Why would anyone bother with me hell even my brother and the others came into my mind. I know that had a lot of different things to do and I didn't want to ask for help most of the time; hence why I never want to become a burden for anyone.

In my thoughts I found myself in the shop once more hearing the clinking and clanking of their work come to my ears; I put on a smile hoping they wouldn't see my sad face.

"I got food!" I shouted out holding the bag up in my hands.

"Sweet" Heat said by placing his tools on the table.

I handed the bag over to him as the boys stopped what they were doing to get something to eat; they all said thanks before they started to eat which made me happy a bit. Seeing them talking and laughing at their old jokes they were like brothers for sure, but to be honest I really didn't feel like I belonged here even after living with them for six years.

I sighed and headed back upstairs leaving the boys to chat, I looked at the clock seeing it was nine now so I started getting ready for bed; brushing my hair and brushing my teeth before getting dressed for bed. Flopping on the bed and getting in the covers I tried closing my eyes but I didn't seem to want to fall asleep.

Tossing and turning in my bed I could only open my eyes seeing the moon shining through the window; glancing at my clock seeing the time was now eleven at night I sighed before sitting up in bed and looking out at the moon with only one thing on my mind.

"Where do I belong?" I whispered to myself as I stared out of the window and the moon and stars.