"What we have needs no title and never did."
Yet, as the days ran into weeks which quickly ran into months, it seemed like the only thing we needed was... a title. A title that would express every word left unspoken. A title that would see every ge...
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Ayanna
19 years.
I'd loved so purely for 19 years... just for everything to fall apart? For everything to just.. not matter?
I shook my head as I threw the thoughts elsewhere. In this moment, I knew I needed to reach out to my child that needed me the most. I'd have to worry on the other things later. Calling Anita, I put it on speaker phone as I put on mascara to try and place the emphasis on something else other than my stress lines on my face.
She answered after a few rings. "Hey mommy."
"Hi NiNi." I called back softly. "You already know why I'm calling."
"Ma... I honestly just think it's time I moved out."
"Anita, we went over this. No."
"Mom, me moving out isn't me saying that I won't come by or that I'll never talk to you all anymore. It's me saying that I need my own space. I'm about to be 21 soon and I feel like it's what is best."
I took a breath before asking. "Is this because of your father?"
"No momma. I mean... apart of it, yeah.. but not the full thing. You've always gone out of your way to take care of me. Even though you aren't my biological mom, I never felt like that. From my earliest memories, you were around. Raising me. Nurturing me and teaching me. I had pictures of my real mom but you were the person I pictured when I thought of a family. You loved me like I was your own and I appreciate it. I do. But I need to move out ma. It's not your fault."
Nodding softly, I mumbled. "Okay. If that's what you think is best, then I support it."
"I'm moving in with Third."
"I don't support it." I immediately took it back.
"Ma!"
"Nita, listen. I love my son in law, I do. But you and I both know that Third needs to get a real profession before you two do any moving in together."
"He works at the gas station momma."
"And he sales dope when he's not at the gas station, Anita. I've never complained about who you loved but I don't want you in that type of predicament right now. You're young and you have your entire life ahead of you. Now I'll support the move out, if and I do mean if, you move into your own apartment."
My daughter sighed. "I get to choose the apartment?"
"Wherever you want."
"You serious?"
"As a heart attack. You meet me halfway and I'll meet you. Let's meet in the middle."
"Alright." I took a breath of relief as she agreed. "Deal."
