Alana's Scent

46

Alana

8 weeks.

I was out for at least 8 weeks. She'd made me fracture my ankle and now I was out for 8 weeks, maybe even 3 months.

I wasn't comfortable at all, due to my fucking foot being in a cast. My dream of running track was over. It was all over. In a flash of a moment, my every meaning of existence had been erased. Who was I without track? Who was A-Hops without a track? I was nobody. I amounted to nothing. I was ruined.

My room was dark as I laid on my side in silence. There was knocks at my door but I didn't speak or move to indict that I was awake. I wanted whoever it was to just go away. My door opened anyways and I still stayed silent.

"Sister?" Anita's voice carried into the darkness but I didn't reply. The light from the hallway lit my face up but I simply continued staring off into space. She came over and turned my lamp on. "Alana, it's been two days. You've got to eat something. Drink something. You can't just starve yourself."

Truth was... my thoughts wouldn't even let me think of food.

I didn't answer her or move a muscle and she sighed. "Mom and dad are worried. Don't even get me started on Madi, Lay and I though. We've been worried sick. We just want you to talk to someone about it Alana. Please?"

Even if I wanted to, I knew I couldn't speak to them right now. Not to Anita. Not to Madison. Not to Malaysia. Not to anyone. I just wanted to be by myself. Alone. In this room. In the dark.

"Turn the light off." I broke my silence to inform her. The light was making my head hurt and I just wanted to drift off into my own world again.

"Not until you eat something Alana. Can you please just eat something?"

"I'm not hungry Anita."

"Alana, you can't continue on like this. Not how you are. Not if you aren't going to eat and drink. I'll leave you be after you eat something." I didn't reply and she asked. "What do you need sis? What can I do? I don't like to see you like this."

"Leave me alone Anita."

"Please Alana." She was begging but I could care less. "I brought a sandwich and some soup. I know how much you hate soup but it's what mom made me bring. Still, I got you a sandwich."

No response came from me and I thought she would have taken her hint and left my room but instead I saw Malaysia turn the corner. She closed my bedroom door and locked it before looking at me. "Okay, you don't want to eat and you don't want to talk but look, someone's on the phone for you."

She brought the phone over to me and turned the screen because I didn't reach out to grab it. I didn't even glance at the screen but instead stayed rooted. "Honey..."

My eyes immediately shot to the phone. She'd been calling and texting but I was too numb to respond. I'd let my phone go dead yesterday just so I didn't have to see everyone's get well and sorry text messages. Looking away, I didn't respond.

"I know that this is bad. I know.. but you've got to eat something." I ignored her and I heard her sigh. "Alana... you can't keep this up. You've got to fight this feeling."

I had no fight left... 

When no response came from me, she told me. "I'm not going to let up. Not until you eat at least. You don't have to talk to me right now, but can you at least eat?"

"I'm not hungry." I replied finally but shortly nonetheless.

"Alana Danielle." Her tone made me look at her again. "Eat something."