Waiting For Us [COMPLETED]

chapter 2 - memories

Grayson:

Fuck

This happens every single fucking time I see her.

My mind: blank. My heart: beating so fast that I swear she could hear it.

And my eyes...fuck. All I want to do is look at her, memorize her features, and understand her expressions, but I just couldn't stop staring at the floor. God, she probably thought I was  weird for not being able to keep eye contact.

I slam my hand on the steering wheel and run my fingers through my hair in frustration. I wish those were her fingers.

My head turns towards her house again and I watch the lights go out downstairs. Knowing that she is okay, I start my black Audi and drive off the street back to Jake's house.

Most people say that driving allows someone to truly think. They're right, of course. When it comes to me, though, I tend to overthink. Especially about me being hopelessly in love with Talia Chase.

Only one person knows about my childish crush, even though I feel as if I have made it the most obvious thing. For most of elementary and middle school, I found myself staring at her from across the lunch room, just watching her laugh with her friends. I used to—and sometimes still do—imagine what it would be like to tell her a joke and make her laugh. Those thoughts are useless.

In high school, I tried to get over her through a different method. One I have never been proud of ever since it labeled me as a womanizer. Almost every month, I would have a new girl around my arm to try and distract me from my feelings for her. This method never worked, but every month I would try again.

When I became a junior, "dating" turned into hookups. Fuck, I was—am so pathetic. I am also an idiot to use and lead on girls to try to get over the one I truly liked. That is horrible of me. Some thought they would enter a long relationship with me after a hookup, but I always had to tell them no because my mind circulated back to Talia. I would never learn my lesson.

I don't know how I became so enchanted by her, is something I try to convince myself every day, even though I know exactly why. I would never be able to forget that day. The day her smile, green dress, and kindness permanently changed a section of my brain to be reserved for her.

Talia and I stayed friends for the rest of kindergarten. When it was time to make the transition into first grade, we were placed in different classrooms and soon drifted apart.

She eventually forgot about the kindness she had shown me that day, but I never did. I always think of it when I see her smiling or laughing or literally doing anything that catches my attention—which is actually everything she does. Some people may find it weird to obsess over a person, but I don't think they would ever understand that the memory you hold them with causes you to become attached by a string of affection. Scratch the word string. It's more of like a chain. A big fucking chain.