Unseen

-2-

     I follow James because I have nothing better to do and I’m curious. I certainly don’t want to stay around Roxi, so following the new kid sounds like a pretty sensible and amusing plan. It’s not like he’s going to mind or anything. He won’t even notice me unless I’m really obnoxious and I don’t really want to get his attention, I just want to see him better.

He walks quickly, avoiding everyone and quite managing himself. I wonder if he came before. Art History isn’t our first subject so I wonder where he was during Printmaking. Maybe he was taking a look around to learn where everything is so he wouldn’t need anyone to show him the place. Well that is clever, if that is what he did.

I follow him outside the C block where we have Art History. Our campus consists of several blocks and it is very well equipped. We, Art students, spend most of our time in the E block; sometimes the C block and we go to the rectory for food and other things. We barely see other students like the Beauty students or the A Level ones.

I see him cursing when he realises it’s raining. Big shock, huh? He pulls the hoodie up and hurries to the library right in front. I wonder if he really despises his hair getting wet so much that he pulled the hoodie on. It’s from one block to the other, it isn’t that large of a distance and rain hasn’t killed anyone that I know of. I know everyone complains about it, but they are just being crybabies.

I follow him, not minding the rain at all and if I get wet, I’ll get dry later. It’s natural, after all. I won’t catch a cold or anything of the like so I have no worries, even if I’m just wearing army boots, a dress and my denim jacket. My hair is curly and messy so rain doesn’t do anything worse to it.

I think James is more sensitive about his looks than I gave him credit for.

He goes to the farthest corner in the library, where no one can bother him, I see. He sits down and pulls his backpack on the table and then rummages inside, looking for something. He takes out some pamphlets and other papers. 

“Oh, I see. Catching up, uh?” I mumble but he completely ignores me. I take no offence, I’m used to it. “Mate, you’ll get tired pretty soon. Wait until the teachers give you your briefs. You’ll be crazy. It doesn’t even matter if we have Mondays off, you’ll spend it all working,” I keep telling him even if he is not paying attention and keeps reading. 

I sit across from him and put my elbow on the table to then cup my cheek with my hand, watching him.

“So, what’s your deal? Are you some misunderstood artist? What are you gonna do with this course? Why did you pick it?” I ask him not expecting an answer to be honest, but because I don’t like silence.

For so many years I used to have people screaming at me, telling me horrible things or just mocking me that I got used to the background noise. I could never hear my thoughts until they stopped and I was finally alone with my own voice. 

I couldn’t stand it.

That’s when I started talking so much, even if no one pays me attention. I need to hear something besides my own thoughts or I feel like I’m disappearing. No one has shouted at me to shut up so I guess they don’t mind.

“What are you?” I ask next. “Everyone has such crazy rumours about you, did you know? I bet you do. You probably heard Roxi and Adeline talking today,” I ramble, making all different sorts of gestures with my hands. “I guess I also said things but I wasn’t mocking you or anything, I was mocking those two. I just really dislike them. If you knew our history together then you would understand.”

He is really impassive, isn’t he? In all this time he hasn’t even frowned. My voice is clearly annoying him. Other people ignore me but when I talk so much in front of them it tends to give them a headache and they leave to get some aspirin.