Unseen

-37-

        The decision has been made and maybe we are sacrificing too much, but this is what we've chosen, what we think we can live with. Maybe it's foolish, maybe we're being just teenagers and we aren't really seeing ahead and planning for a realistic and comfortable future, but right now this is what we feel, what we want.

Many things might change tomorrow. Maybe I have a limited time, whatever amount of years I was supposed to live, and once I fulfil that time I'll cross over whether I want it or not. Maybe James will meet another girl and fall in love with her and will want to have a family with her. Maybe I'll stay with him until he dies and then follow him to wherever we have to go next, because we are supposed to be together. There's so much uncertainty that it does not make much of a difference what we choose at the end, because we don't really know the consequences of those decisions. What matters right now is that we have each other and for once, we are not lonely.

James takes a bit of my pain away every day, and I make him company, to the point a smile is the most natural aspect of his features. I bring happiness and company to his life, he brings love and acceptance to mine. Is it then wrong to stay together if we help each other like this?

Of course, there are many difficulties that come with staying together, especially for him. I'm basically an anchor to Street, a small town with little possibilities. His parents won't provide for him forever, he needs to make his own life and forge his future, but I narrow his options. For as long as I'm bound to college, and he stays with me, he'll be glued to this town.

"Paige!" James screams one morning, running into the room where I have been, organising his wardrobe. I have learnt that organising his hoodie collection in different ways every once in a while is actually really good to kill time and relieve stress.

"What's wrong?" I immediately ask, dropping the red hoodie in my hands and turning to look at him with wide eyes.

"I've got an idea," he says, wide smile on his lips and eyes full of excitement and anticipation. "I was thinking and then I saw it and it hit me!"

"What?" I ask, because I'm not following him. He's like skipping words in all his excitement.

But he doesn't answer, he only grabs my wrist and drags me outside the room and towards the living room. I just follow him, confused and a bit worried, but I don't say anything. We don't stop until we face the shelves where he keeps many films and books, where he's also put the new urn with the remains of my ashes. Since we brought them home it's become easier for me to stay and I naturally feel drawn here when classes end.

"Your ashes!" he points out, as if I hadn't noticed them already. I turn to stare at him, letting him see my concern because it almost seems he lost his mind.

"Are you feeling well?" I question out loud, instinctively, I raise my hand to touch his forehead, as if it to check for a fever, although that's pointless. He's always just warm to me.

"Yes! But Paige, don't you realise? Your ashes are a bound point to you, and contrary to having been buried, you can move your ashes. Like form your home to here. You've felt the difference, right?" I nod. I think I know where he is going with this, but still then I don't interrupt him. "I thought that maybe you can leave town if we take your ashes with you, or maybe you can get a bit farther than just the town limits. What do you think?"

I stay quiet, giving a thought to that idea. It seems like a logic option, and he is right, I have felt the difference of staying here when the ashes were still at home, and then when we brought them with us. It might not work, but I think it's worth giving it a shot.

If... if it worked, then James could leave this place and look for better opportunities out there. And I could go with him, see other places, as well. Maybe I could go to uni with him and learn new things. Maybe we wouldn't need to stay in Street until the end because there's an option.