Hotline Hazbin

Technological Needs?

Everyone in the limo was terrified at my sudden appearance. There were 3 demons in the car, and I had a plan to kill each of them, if they're hostile, of course.

Demon 1:  

Demon 2:

Demon 3: 

What an..... interesting bunch. The grey one was the first to react, by kicking me back out of the car. Keep in mind, the vehicle was still moving, so I hit the pavement at 80 miles per hour, possibly more. As I was dusting myself off, I see a pair of headlights shining out of an alley. It was my Acado, today is better already. So, back to the money problem. Since no one will help me, I guess I'll keep it, maybe get myself a nice place.

???: Oi, give us the cash, bucko.

Bucko, haven't heard that one before. I turn around and see five different demons, all dressed in navy and cyan pinstripe tuxedos. Some kind of mafia maybe? If that's the case, at least I won't be bored down here. Damn, I keep getting off track. Since I have my crowbar, all I need is speed. That's when I felt the shifting on my face again. It was Brandon, the panther, he's always fun when I need exercise.

Like I said this'll be fun. As the first guy charges, I hook his head with the crowbar. I then run in circles around him, ripping off his head. I then throw the head at the second, causing him to panic, giving me the chance to drive the flat end through his head. I grab the handle as it passes through him, and sling his body at two more, knocking them to the ground. I stomp one one guy's head, and beat the other's to a pulp with my fists. The last guy tries to flee, but I throw the crowbar like a javelin, causing it to fly through his head, and fall at his feet. I walk over to his corpse to retrieve the crowbar, as I grab it, I notice a card hanging out of the thug's pocket. It read:

Tired of being treated like dirt? Join the winning team. Registration must be turned in to the boss at the place where you would find all of your technological needs

{How do you write a business card for a mafia?}