Deception - H.S

Chapter 7

Emotion.

A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationship with others. Or so what google says.

Emotions are a state of feeling. You feel them when you are conscious and it numbs out when you aren't. You cannot run away from it, you can ignore them, but they eventually catch up and wreak everything you spent so much time building. I cannot explain what I feel right now only because when you know what something is supposed to feel like, you recognize it and when a situation triggers it, you feel that emotion. But I feel nothing. Is that what heart break is? A constant, endless nothing?

8 days, 192 hours, 11,520 minutes.

That's how long I kept myself locked in my room. I didn't break anything, I didn't cry, I didn't scream. I sat there, numb, replaying everything that happened the night of the party.

I've had several calls and texts from Kyle, apologizing, saying how he wants to make things better. How can he make this better when he is the one who fucked it up so bad that my entire world stopped moving?

I've also had numerous calls from Niall. I'm guessing Harry told him what happened. I don't know why I thought he would listen to my request; he doesn't have any reason to.

I didn't answer anyone's text or calls, didn't have the mental capacity to even if I wanted to talk. "Hope? You awake?" Ayla knocks on the door.

She has been really good at giving me my space. She checks up on me and makes sure there is food because I only sneak out at night or when she isn't home to grab things like food and water. Not that I have much of an appetite anymore. I am grateful for her.

"Open the door bebz please."

"Maybe later Ayla." I speak loud enough for her to hear. Hearing my voice out loud feels strange. It doesn't sound like me after all the yelling.

"Hope it's been 8 days; you need to get out please."

"I'm fine." I lie.

"Okay, have it your way." I hear her walk away and the front door opens and shuts. "Did she just leave?"

I wake up to knocking on the door again. More like banging. "Go away I'm asleep." I yell at Ayla but she doesn't budge and yells back at me, telling me to open the door. "I'm asleep." I shove a pillow on the side of my head, not opening my eyes.

"Hope open the fuck up." I hear Niall and snap my eyes open and sit up. How the fuck? He doesn't know where I live yet. My heart rate quickens and I manage a "I can't I'm really tired."

He bangs louder "Open the fucking door Hope. You can be tired after we see that you're okay."

"I'm fineee. You guys don't have to worry." I speak, my eyes wide in shock. I didn't expect him to be here.

"I will break this fucking door if you don't open up!"

"I'm not dressed, you cannot come in." I give a lame excuse. Well I really am not dressed. I'm in a cropped tank top and shorts. I'm not comfortable enough for anyone to see me like this except Ayla. I tried my best to keep my shirt on with Kyle as well, which he found weird but didn't care enough to ask why. He has seen me naked but I'm just too insecure.

He starts banging really loud and I'm actually scared that he will break the door. "Okay! I'm coming." I give in.

Ergh.

I get out of bed only to feel lightheaded. I take a moment to stabilize myself and pull over the biggest hoodie I own. I open the door and open it a peep to see Niall starting at me with anger in his blue eyes. Ayla stood behind him.