Deception - H.S

Chapter 41

Harry Styles

I woke up to some noise from downstairs, squinting my eyes to adjust to the light that was flowing into the room because the curtains were left open. We were still in the same position since last night and to my surprise she was still asleep.

Five days without sleep is not a joke, I don't even want to begin thinking about the amount of stress she went through with everything that happened since we arrive in Maine and to top it all off, she hadn't slept. It explained her frequent outbursts, the excessive consumption of coffee, the extreme tiredness on her face, not to mention how shaky she was when I came to her room last night, I don't think she was aware of it but her body was trembling.

In an attempt to close the curtains so she could get a couple of more hours of sleep, I rest my back flat against the mattress and slide to my left but when I do, she makes a small noise that caused me to freeze, my body tensing in panic that I have woken her. Fuck. I look over to her to see that her face was scrunching up and she was moving, watching her extend her small arm out to grip my shoulder and move closer to close the few inches distance I had created between us.

She rests her head on my shoulder, snuggling into the crook of my neck and hovered a tiny fist on my chest but as soon as it brushed against my shirt, she moved it to tuck it underneath her cheek.

It almost felt like even subconsciously she was afraid to touch me in a way that I didn't want, her respect for my need for no touch was immaculate. After the way I have been treating her, I would expect anyone to do the same with me, but she was different.

I tuck her stray strands of hair behind her ear, brushing my knuckle against her cheek in a gentle way, she seems fragile, like she could shatter under my touch if I made one wrong move but she was also head strong, getting right up after each blow.

She breathes lightly, her plump lips parted just slightly so her breath was hitting my neck with each exhale. I was never one for physical comfort but I was growing to understand that she was, small things like hugs, kisses and cuddles meant more to her than they ever did to me. I cannot believe she has had me cuddled up with her for more than once, there was only one person in the world I would do that for.

I will gladly hold her for as long as she needed it, if that meant she gets to rest after the chaos in her life.

She makes me feel things that do not make any fucking sense and that felt like a threat, making my reflexes push her away. Not to mention that I was also bad for her, being around me will only cause her pain and it already is even with me pretending to hate her. I genuinely did at first, I think, but gradually that faded away, making me realize that the reasons I used to justify the hate was ridiculous, it was my defense mechanism telling me to do that because she was worth anything but hatred.

I lay in bed with her for the next three hours, running my hand along her back in attempt to comfort her, I didn't know how to do that, it was way out of my league but I was trying.

"Hi..." her soft morning voice mumbles and I peer my eyes down to hers.

"Hi." I mimic her like I often do which makes her pout her lips into a frown. "How long have you been up?" My brows furrow, how does she know I didn't just wake up?

"How do you know?"

"Y-your voice, its uhm- your waking-up voice is different. I'm sorry." This was another thing I did not understand about her, she noticed the small details about me that no one ever pays attention to and constantly apologizes for god know what.

"Three hours..." I decided to reply to her instead of throwing more questions at her about our last night in Ohio that I still could not understand, or her thoughts on everything that has happened since. Just this one day, I was going to try and be nice to her.