Grim ♊︎ Attack on Titan

Half Living

Erwin blink his eyes as he woke up the following morning, he just had the best sleep since his accident in his own home in his own bed. Running his fingers threw his hair he look over to the side seeing his wife wasn't in the bed with him. Looking around the room he spot her reading something, most likely reports on their vanity. Her head resting on her hand, with her fingers resting in her bangs.

Erwin let out a small smile seeing her so casual. Grim took time off since his injuries, still a General work isn't completely done. Laying back he sigh silently to himself staring at the ceiling, he couldn't believe that slip up and got his arm chewed off. Staring at his stump he can still feel his missing arm all the way down to his fingers.

Erwin close his eyes, it's been an adjustment for him. Learning how to do everything with his left arm was a challenge. Grim been with him every step of the way but Erwin just felt like something was....missing.

If he was honest with himself he felt less of a man. He didn't know how he would live with one arm, he didn't know how he would lead the Scouts with a missing arm. He didn't know how he would be a good husband to his wife with one arm. He wasn't sure how his missing arm would truly effect him and those around him. Something about losing a limp just changed everything, made everything much more harder to navigate.

Erwin has never felt so weak and useless in his life, he just feel like he's a burden to those around him. He felt he has nothing to bring to the table, what was there for him to do now that he's missing an arm. It was like all the insecurities was starting to creep in. He never voiced his worries to Grim or anyone for that matter. He didn't want to add more to her plate than what she already has.

Grim turn around feeling the turmoil in Erwin, even if Erwin never voice what he's feeling Grim simply knew. She can see it on his face and his demeanor that he has changed since his accident. Grim always known soldiers never be the same after a life changing injury, it's expected. Grim gave a sad smile seeing Erwin trying his hardest to come to terms with his disability. 

Grim still love him with all her heart, but she know her husband missing limp was now his greatest insecurity. She try to show him it doesn't matter to her that he was now missing his dominant arm, she still love him all the same. But Erwin has been pushing her away and becoming depress rather he know it or not.

Grim sigh to herself, she just wish she could do more for Erwin. But Erwin has to be the one to come to terms with what happen to him. She would wait, she would be there when he was ready, if he ever get to that point.

Smiling she stood up walking over sitting at the edge of his side of the bed, "Good morning." She smile down at him. Erwin gave her a small smile in return, "Morning." Grim held his hand, "Want breakfast?" She ask. Erwin nod, "Okay." Grim lean forward kissing his forehead before leaving their room.

While cooking Erwin made his way to their kitchen seeing breakfast was almost finish, he walk to Grim wrapping his arm around her resting his chin on her shoulder. "I love you." He told her. Grim smile at him resting her forehead on him, "Love you too." The couple share a kiss, Erwin rub her waist walking to the fridge grabbing milk.

Erwin and Grim enjoy breakfast with small talk at first until Erwin address the elephant in the room or in this case Titan. "So, you can also turn into a Titan?" He ask. Grim nod, "I can." "Were you going to ever tell me?" Grim shook her head, "I don't know. I always wanted to but, I was afraid you wouldn't love me or even be afraid of me." 

Erwin sigh at his silly wife, "Grim I told you nothing would ever stop me from loving you." Grim nod. "I know, but still it's. Not something I ever wanted you to know, I don't even know how this happened." Grim stare down at her hands, "All I know I woke up one day and Mama said it was time to fight. Than she cut my hand and I became a Titan." 

Erwin and Grim stare at one another, "Seems like that conversation all those years ago is coming together huh?" Grim smiles. Erwin smile back, "I believe it is. So, does Levi know this little secret of yours?" Grim nod, "He does." Erwin nod, "Well. What do you plan to do now that the cats out the bag?" Erwin ask. Grim sigh, "The same as always. Hange hasn't stop bothering me since she heard the news. She wants me to help Eren but I don't know were to start with helping him."

Erwin drink his milk, "With people being Titans, it seems my father wasn't that far off after all with his theory." Erwin change the subject seeing Grim wasn't comfortable talking about her Titan form. "Seems that way." Grim sigh. "It's feeling like our world is opening more and more with the Titans." Grim look out the window.

Erwin stare at her, "Do you think." He pause thinking over his question, "Do you think, we will get to see the answers one day?" Grim smile at him, she grab his hand rubbing his arm with the other, "Absolutely. We've come this far, only answers are on the horizon from here. We are getting so close, after what happen in the invasion I believe we can no longer go back to how things were." Grim smile hoping this will give Erwin new hope and a purpose, plus she wanted to show him even with a missing arm he was still Erwin Smith. The headstrong man with an even bigger headstrong goal.

Erwin chuckle, he scoot away from the table. Grim smile sitting on his lap, the couple share a loving kiss. "I love you so much Erwin Smith." Grim told him with a smile. "I love you too Grim Smith." Erwin held her waist tightly as Grim rest her head on his shoulder. Erwin stare out the window with a sad smile.

Grim pull away pushing his hair out of his face, "Come on let's go to the park and read. It's been a while since we done that." Erwin nod, "Okay." Grim pull his arm, "Want to shower. Together of course?" She ask. Erwin shook his head, "No, I'm going to go over some paperwork. You go ahead." He kiss her before walking to his study. Grim watch with a frown and a sigh before heading to their room. 

Closing their room door she sigh leaning against it, she felt so distance from her husband yet so close. She understand that he been through something tragic but she had hope selfishly so that he would still be the same man. Clearly something in Erwin has shift and Grim wasn't sure, if she was honest with herself if he would ever be that same again. 

Grim wipe her face as tears tried to flow down, 'No. You have to be strong, Erwin need you to be strong for him.' Grim thought to herself taking deep breath to clam herself down. Pushing away from the door she head to the bath. 

Erwin rub his head feeling terrible that he just denied his wife, he just wasn't feeling the most desirable. He rub his missing arm hating the fact that this happened to him. That his wife was now stuck with someone who is only half a man. This was hard on the couple relationship, Erwin love Grim that is as true as gold but at the moment he wasn't loving himself. He want to be the man Grim deserves but that man was gone and in his place, Erwin didn't even recognize him.