• Eternal Night •

19

"Switch off the AC, please..." Shivaay pulled his sweatshirt over his palms.

Even though it was forty degrees, everyone obliged. Rudra nodded, "I will put it on the fan mode."

Smiling, Shakti looked at Shivaay and showed him the cards. "So what do you want to play today?"

"I don't know..." shrugged Shivaay. "You guys choose anything."

"Arre!" Gauri pipped in. "Just pick a game so we can start playing."

Shivaay suddenly went blank. He couldn't think of one card game that they could play. The only game he could remember right now was hide and seek. Blinking rapidly, he sighed, "I...I really don't remember anything."

Om groaned. "Okay let's play rummy?"

"No..." Tej pulled a face. "Something else, please."

Mallika leaned in and whispered, "It was tough to make a decision, right? It must be the same for Annika."

Shivaay wanted to tell her that a marriage and a game were two very different things. Marriage was serious. If one didn't have clarity about the relationship, they didn't deserve to be in it. Marriage is seldom about one human anyway.

Shivaay watched the family argue with mild interest. His thoughts remained tangled in the thoughts of Annika. He had remained stubborn about his decision of not letting her come back to the Oberoi Mansion. They didn't have any blood ties. The only relationship they were supposed to have was of love. And right now, that seemed missing. Without love, she had no relationship with him. And by that regard, she didn't need to stay with him. She could live in the comfort and familiarity of her own house.

"Shivaay," Pinky kept a hand on his head. "If you are tired, you can go and sleep. You don't need to play."

Shivaay pulled himself up and smiled. "No. I just zoned out."

His heart still ached but his family didn't need to know about it.

"Waise," Kalyani said. "When is Annika coming back?"

Mallika's eyes darted in Shivaay's direction and he sighed. Rubbing his forehead, he mumbled, "Guys, I think I need to tell you this."

Feeling a little strange, everyone straightened and looked at him in anticipation. Shivaay took a deep breath. "Annika and I...well, not exactly us because this was my decision but we have been talking. I know we have been married for two long years but..."

He couldn't speak anymore and Pinky moved closer to him. She took his cold hand in her hand and asked, "What is it?"

Shivaay breathed through his mouth and kept his eyes on the floor. "I am not blaming anyone. But to cut the long story short, I don't want to be with Annika."

Tej let the cards fall on the mattress. He snarled, "What? Do you realize what you are saying? Or are you still in the medicine induced daze?"

"Bhai saheb, ek minute!" Shakti put a calming hand on his brother's shoulder. Then he kneeled before Shivaay.

"Shivaay..." he said gently. "Did you fight with Annika?"

"No..." whispered Shivaay. "It's not that."

"Then what is it?" asked Jhanvi. "How can just break a marriage?"

"Yeah!" Kalyani added. "I don't understand. Did you just drop her off at her home? What will her parents think, Shivaay? This is not done!"

"Did you at least tell them this?" asked Pinky.

The dull ache in Shivaay's chest intensified. Tears pushed against his eyelids and he rubbed his nose.

"Don't you love her, Billu?" asked Kalyani.

This time around, Shivaay could not hold it in anymore. Tears flowed out of his eyes. Someone offered him tissues but he was so horrified that he didn't lookup.

"It's okay to cry, you know?" whispered Soumya and Shivaay felt Om's fingers on his cheek. He still couldn't bring himself to look at them.

"Guys!" Prithvi's voice boomed in the room. "Enough. No one is going to ask Shivaay any more questions. He will tell everything when he is ready."

"No, it's okay..." Shivaay finally found the courage to look up. "They deserve to know the truth, Dadu. I will tell them."

Looking at the distressed faces of his family, he said, "Dadi, I do love Annika. I always did. But I don't think she ever harboured that kind of feelings for me. We were cordial. However, everything in our marriage was always very surface level. We never had the love you and Dadu have, Mom and Dad have or what Bade Papa and Badi Ma share...we were just two roommates living together who sometimes, pardon me for saying this, got physical."

Shivaay felt Rudra's hand on his back, silently encouraging him to continue. He did. "It worked out fine for both of us. I was addicted to hope. I was hoping that someday, our relationship will also blossom into something beautiful. I was wrong. Ever since we have come to know about the heart issue, Annika has distanced herself from me. And to be honest, I can't take it. So I asked her to not come back here. If she wants, we can legally end this marriage. It's better this way."

After he spoke, there was a deafening silence in the room. After a few moments, Rudra spoke, "I agree. It's better this way. No one deserves to be in a loveless marriage."

Om and Gauri nodded. Om held Shivaay's hand. "I am okay with whatever you decide. I just want you to be happy."

"I love you, Shivaay..." said Tej. "But it cannot be this simple. We need to talk with Annika and her family."

Shivaay sighed. "Please do."

"Shivaay," Kalyani cleared her throat. "Why don't you go to your room and get some rest?"

He mutely nodded. Om, Rudra and the girls followed him to the bedroom. Soumya closed the door behind her and plopped down on the couch.

"Bhaiya, I may not have shown it outside but I am shocked too," said Soumya. "What happened to Annika Di?"

Shivaay lied down on the bed. "I don't have any answers, Sumo. It's sad that I don't understand her even after two years."

Rudra sat down beside Shivaay and remarked, "When the partner is wrong, it does not matter what one does. It always is never enough."

"Ru!" Mallika spoke up. "I wanted to correct you outside too but then I didn't. Annika loves Shivaay. She is just..."

"She is just, what Mallika?" asked Om. "Listen, when a partner is in pain, you don't turn your back on him. A marriage is a serious commitment. I do not agree with this behaviour. It's hurtful."

"She might be insecure..." said Mallika and tried to reason. "I mean, there are all kinds of people in the world. Who knows what she is thinking?"

"Sure..." Gauri nodded. "But isn't it strange that she is giving her insecurities more importance than Bhaiya's health right now? And chalo okay, maybe she is insecure but then seek help. Go to a bloody therapist. Talk with the family, talk..."

"Guys..." Shivaay sat up. "It's fine. Let's not discuss this. Maybe Annika and I are not correct for each other. If she is still insecure after two years of marriage then well, it's my fault. I am to be blamed. I failed spectacularly as a husband. And I want to stop being unfair to her. I don't want this illness to be a reason for her to stay trapped with me. Let her leave."