• Eternal Night •

26

"What happened?" asked Annika as she eyed Shivaay on the hospital bed.

She was seeing him after a while and to her eyes, he looked thinner and paler. The medical impediments around him didn't help any matters. Despite not wanting to, her own heart twisted painfully in her chest. All she wanted to do was to reach out and give him a hug. But she stayed put in her spot.

Om spoke in a low voice. "We had a bit of a scare last night. He had an episode and we had to rush him here."

The bad feeling in Annika's chest tightened. Licking her dry lips, she sat on the chair beside the bed. She looked at Shivaay's drowsy eyes and sighed.

"Om, can I talk with her alone?" requested Shivaay.

Om's protective and sceptical eyes rested on Shivaay for a long time. Then he looked at Annika. He shrugged, "No. I am not leaving you alone."

"Please..." Shivaay beseeched. "See even Aditya is sitting out."

But Om remained adamant. "Nothing is personal between you guys anymore, Shivaay. And sorry but I don't want a repeat of last night. Whether you like it or not, I am not leaving this room. Don't unnecessarily argue with me and exert yourself."

Despite everything, Shivaay smiled. It felt good to be taken care of in that way. He coaxed, "Okay at least turn your face around."

Begrudgingly, Om relented. He turned his chair around and sat facing the wall. Shivaay smiled at his back and turned towards Annika.

Without any preamble, Shivaay dryly asked, "Why are you here, Annika?"

Annika took a deep breathe to steel herself. She had expected much worse. At least Shivaay wasn't shouting and yelling at her like she had imagined all the way from Mumbai to Ohio. At least he had not refused to see her. At least he hadn't thrown her out.

His voice was soft and desperate, "Why now? What's left?"

Annika couldn't gather the courage to look at him. He was right. What was left? Nothing at all. So much had transpired between them that her heart palpitated to even look at Shivaay properly.

She whispered, "I just..."

"Just what?" he asked again, sounding a little more frustrated. His head lolled back on the pillow tiredly. "What do you want from me?"

This was exactly why Annika didn't want to see Shivaay. Whatever she was seeing right now was going to burn her brain and keep her awake for nights. How was she ever going to forget those pained eyes?

She squeezed her own eyes shut and kept her hand on her forehead. "Not seeing you wasn't my decision..."

"But leaving me was!" Shivaay said shakily. His heartbeat spiked on the monitor and Annika could see that Om had begun fidgeting. A few more minutes and she was going to get her ass thrown out of the room. She had to say whatever she wanted quickly.

"Yes, it was..." she nodded. "I am not here to defend that decision or justify it. All I want to say is that please give us a chance."

"What? Did I hear this right?" Shivaay scoffed. "A chance? Are you serious?"

"I know I have made a mistake but...please allow me to correct it. I don't want you to do anything. Just let me meet you..." Annika bit her lip trying hard not to cry. "I don't don't ask for anything else."

Shivaay didn't understand it. "But why? It has to have some consequence right? Why should we meet? And waise bhi, why should I listen to you? Why is it that in this marriage, only you get to take the decisions? You decided to not meet. Now, you want to meet. I don't..."

Pain seared through his chest and he stopped speaking. Grunting, he clutched his chest. Annika sprang up but before she could reach him, Om was already by Shivaay's side.

"Shut up for good now. Dare you utter a single word!" Om scolded Shivaay as he rubbed his chest. With his other hand, he grabbed the glass of water and held it near Shivaay's lips. Shivaay took a few sips and fell back on the bed breathing a little hard.

"Boy..." he sighed. "I saw stars for a few seconds..."

"Shut up yaar..." Om whined, his chest heaving as well. "Please keep quiet. My god!"

Shivaay took a minute to gather himself. He opened his eyes and assured Om, "I am okay, Om. Calm down. It was just a poke."

"You sure?" Om asked.

Shivaay smiled. "I can lie, the monitors can't."

With a straight face, Om nodded. He let Shivaay's hand go and stammered, "I am...I am sitting outside."

Shivaay nodded knowingly. "Okay."

With that, he left the room. As soon as Om left, Annika sat down on the bed. Placing her hand on Shivaay's chest, she rasped, "Are you okay?"

Shivaay took a long look at her and remarked, "You have lost weight. A lot."

It made Annika suck in a breath. No one had noticed it. It was only fair because anyone hardly interacted with her these days. It made her more guilty. She exhaled. "Why are you so nice, Shivaay? I don't deserve it."

Shivaay's eyes fell down. He looked at her hand over his heart and smiled. Perhaps he was indeed very nice, he mused. All it had taken for him to not argue with her was a single touch.

"Will you tell me the truth now?" he questioned. "What is happening? Why are you here?"

She gulped. "Aditya talked me into this. He thinks it will be good if we spend time with each other as just people. Not as spouses, not as family but just fellow humans."

Shivaay's question didn't change. "Why?"

This time around, Annika gathered some courage. She ran a hand over his chest and whispered, "Because otherwise each one of us will keep burning in the fire of regrets all our lives. And that will be more tragic than my stupidity."

"Annika..." Shivaay breathed hard.

"Please Shivaay..." she all but begged. "This is my last wish. I won't ask for anything else from you."

He took a long, languid look at her and sighed. "I need some time to think about this."

She had expected it. So she just nodded. "I understand. I will come back in the evening."

"I will probably be asleep then..." Shivaay smiled. "Maybe come back tomorrow."

Annika sat there, looking at him gaze at her. She didn't have the heart to argue with him. She was tired. So was he. After what seemed like ages, she dimly smiled at him and nodded.