ARDOR

38. Late night visits

When the warmth of sunlight flash on face of Y/N, she turns to other side, finding the cold empty side of the bed, again. It's been months since they got married but not once Jungkook has ever entered in the room in her sight. He even avoids coming in front of her during the daylight, like an shadow he is here but not around her.

She sat up looking towards the sight open door as usual indicating he came late night after she went to slumber but left before she woke up. She sighed and got up from the bed to freshen up. Slipping into hoodie and a pair of jeans she went downstairs, welcomed by the usual horrible view.

Scattered pieces of glasses, broken vases, fallen curtains and feathers out of the pillow, covering the entire furniture and floor. She stopped gasping on these issues as it's been a while watching this like the first thing in the morning. After the wedding watching that she did not bothered because more than surprising it became a hurting scene for her. She goes near the pieces of glass placed in the pool of dark red blood splashed over the floor. Extending her hand she wanted to touch the blood, although she knew it must be of Jungkook but she refused to believe it. She holds the glass piece in her hands but unfortunately it was so sharp that it also pierced through her skin giving out a red imprint on the finger but Mrs. Song pulled her hand and threw the piece away. The maid looked at her with pity when she noticed Y/N's teary eyes.

Tears were filled in her eyes on watching him destroying himself, everyday behind her back. Y/N couldn't see someone self-harming themselves, but knowing it was because of her was more painful. She was right on her place, to give him silent treatment but never did she thought he would do these things.

Mrs. Song took her to the couch, offering her to sit while she sat beside her and started sterilizing her finger with care. Y/N hissed in pain unaware of whether it was the physical pain or the thought of him being out their with an injury on his body. She yanks away the hand from her grip as guilt spreaded over Y/N's face because she ignored him, although she knew she couldn't forgive him easily. She bit her lips to not let herself flow in the pool of emotions as she didn't wanted anyone else to know she was feeling down or maybe to herself, she didn't wanted to feel down and guilty.

"Mrs Jeon please... Let me apply the ointment or it would not heal."

"Let it be, it will remind me of what's going around in this house since the wedding!"

"Please, you are hurting yourself! Mr Jeon will not like it. He would definitely not be able to hear about you getting hurt."

Y/N scoffed sadly with tears falling from her eyes. Lowering her eyes with trembling lips sealing her silent sobs.

"Can't you see he is too hurting himself? I am legally married to him so one day I have to forgive him but not anytime soon. And by doing harm to oneself if he thinks I would accept him then he is wrong. I..I just need time to blend here."

Although this marriage was forced but he did treated everyone related to her with great respect.Even when she was rude to him he didn't walked back from this relationship. Even after knowing he was suffering she held in her sympathy for him and locked up the love she once had for him. She did care for him but it's just that he forced this relationship. She realised she did so wrong with him when Jimin informed her about Rosella. He told her that it was her who was forcing herself in Jungkook's life.

She didn't believed but Jimin tried to explain her how sometimes life forces you to do things you don't want to. She did protested saying no matter what but loyalty is thing that must remain in a relationship yet he kissed her. But Jimin told her to calm down and counted her things he did in office before and after marriage, like having her photographs on his desk, wallpaper. He also told her how his ringtone for her was totally different from others, a cute song especially for her incoming calls.