ARDOR

41. The night changes

I wasn't in a mood to gulp even a sip after finishing the whiskey I just ordered. I felt hurt when I heard her talking to someone. All I ever wanted was a baby of my flesh and blood rocking in the arms while I soothe him singing lullaby, all I ever wanted was to become a parent with her, was it that difficult? But still she had the right to choose wheather she wants to bear a child or not.

We were also not on good terms to even look at each other with love then going for a baby would've been a big step for both of us.

I calmed myself, thinking it was just the situation we are having now. Everything would be fine, she just need some time to reconsider this marriage. I can't expect her to change for me as even I did things worth hatred but the sting it gives when someone rejects your most desired wish was still painful.

I still remember the day dad died. A call was made home frowning my father's face. We both were having dinner, interrupted by one call, that single call was life changing.

I looked up to dad who got up leaving his chair, plate still filled with food. He placed his phone to his ear anticipating his driver to ignite the engine of the car. He looked furious yet a hint of fear visible on his face. I walk to him, grabbing his arm. He looked at me, furrowed eyebrows calming with his lips curving up to assure a slight smile though I knew something was wrong.

"Is everything already? Why are you going to the warehouse at this hour?"

"Everything is f-fine, Jungkookah. I.. I just need to check on few things there. I'll try come back soon."

His stuttering went unnoticed by anyone but me. He wore his overcome, exiting through the main door. I wasn't convinced with what he said, how could I when I was feeling very uneasy about it. I ran and before he could settle in his car, I held his hand.

"Will you really come back soon? You aren't lying, are you?"

"Aigoo! Your seventeen but still acting like a princess. Have I ever lied to you? Of course, I'll come back soon."

"I just don't feel right watching you leave. I.. I feel like I might lose you too like eonma."

His eyes soften,bending at my eye level he said, "your appa had a trail of women at your age. But still I choose your eomma do you know why?" I shook the head side to side.

"Your eomma was the most beautiful girl I ever met, she was the bravest. When you were in her womb she knew she would die but still she decided to give birth to you because you are the initial of love. She said she will stay with me in my heart as long as I don't forget her, so I never did. Every night before going to bed I caress her photo frame, her smiling photograph always warms my heart."

He paused and puts his finger on my fast beating heart. I look at him confused.

"No matter what happens today, even if you lose me I'll always remain here. Until your last breath."

He patted my head and pecked the forehead, unlike his manly rough behavior radiating discipline. He looked soft with glimpse of tears on the edges of his eyes.

And next I know his car driving off the gates of the Jeon mansion.

It was after midnight when Mrs. Song knocks on my door. Rubbing my eyes I open the door, there stood the maid with a panicked expression on her face. As she started narrating the call from hospital I ran to the jeep. Ears were ringing while my eyes blurry with the amount of eyes welling up the eyes, I drove to the city hospital.

"No,no, no! It can't happen. You can't leave me dad. You can't, just wait till I reach."

I honk the horn and overtaking all the vehicles, breaking the speed limit. I didn't even had a driving license but that wasn't a concern at all when my father was breathing his last breaths in the operation theatre.