Dear Diary,
Some people consider dreams as a glimpse of what your future holds. Others see dreams as a tv series: each night, every time you close your eyes, you experience a new episode.
For me, dreams are nothing but a simple friend, always there to greet you once you doze off into a heavy slumber.
But some dreams aren't exactly friendly. Most leave you happy and cheerful, while others leave you upset and scarred. Though, very rarely, a small percent leave you confused, for you have one to many emotions nipping at your skin all at once.
For example, about 2 days ago, I experienced this dream where my parents found out about me cutting. They didn't yell, they didn't cry. They showed no emotions whatsoever. But later that day, they looked at me with so much disgust, it was like they saw me as a total stranger, rather than their own daughter.
Later that day, I was working on my homework inside my bedroom when my mom walks in, grabs my blade from inbetween my mattress and grabs ahold of my wrist. I tried to pull back, but in that moment, my limbs went completely numb. I couldn't even move a finger. She then starts sliding the blade all over arm, pushing down hard, causing blood to rush out of the open wounds almost immediately. She slowly slices her way closer to my hand, grip tightening as she does so. Once she finally reaches where my hand connects to my arm( also where the veins are the most visible and delicate), she looks at me, the ghost of a slight smirk visible on her pale face, and slides the blade across, cutting a few veins open in the process.
You would think that the amount of pain overtaking my body would be overwhelming, for my veins had just been sliced open, but it was actually the complete opposite. Instead of pain, I felt relief. The blood rushing out of my body felt so Soothing. It resembled the feeling of warm water flowing over your body as you're taking a nice warm 20 minute shower.
I'm still not sure what that dream meant exactly, or how I feel about it, but I know one thing for sure: I never want to see my mom look at me with that much disgust ever in my life.
