Ultraviolence -Damiano David

20

"I can't do that. "

I reply and move away from him.
He looks at me confused, but I have already made my decision.
It's going nowhere, it's so toxic between us and it's too late to live what we wanted four years ago.

We are not children anymore, we are not two teenagers in love who believe that they will be happy forever.

Nothing can happen between us, we don't fit anymore. We are different and we have built two completely different lives.

" Stella, i don't understand. I thought you wanted me. "

I am puffing away under pressure, I feel my heart tightening but I know I have to put my mind first.

"I want you. But this is not going to work. Can't you see it?"

His hands grip mine, caressing them gently, and I shiver at his touch.

"You asked me first, to be with you. What happened now?"

I remember the day at Victoria's party vividly, I had asked him to leave Giorgia, it's true. But I didn't think we'd get here. Now it all seems so wrong to me.

"You are right. But we are so toxic for each other. "

He lets go of my hands he's been holding and grabs the back of his neck in irritation.

"So, John is the best for you? He is not toxic who just sits around all day without even getting a job, leaving you to just work and he goes about his life? Who leaves you alone all the time? Who is insanely jealous? Is he right for you?"

I knew by accident that he was right about John, some things bothered me about him but with him I rebuilt my life and found myself again. It made me a different person, it matured me. Unlike when I'm with Damiano, I become a teenager again and let my emotions run wild doing crazy things.

"I found safety to him. I can't do that. I can't leave him. He loves me and it would be such a shame to let him. I can't be the girl that cheated on him. I can't. "

"You are letting me go, for the second time. I'm not gonna try again with you. I'm bored of this thing. "

I shake my head positively without trying for anything more.

I watch him open the door and leave without looking at me or saying anything else.

It was time to end.
It shouldn't have even started.

I have to forget him soon, thinking about him and wanting to be with him won't get me anywhere.

[. . . ]
"Happy Birthday my love!"
I open my eyes, startled by the loud voice interrupting my heavy sleep and almost breathless.

In front of me I see pink bologna and a table with a sumptuous breakfast but as if that wasn't enough John, excitedly looking at me in front of me.

At first I don't understand what's going on but then I remember the date.

I had completely forgotten my birthday.

"John. . . it's all great. I had completely forgotten about it. "
I get up with a dose of joy and hug him, thanking him.

"I'm not done yet baby. I have some things to do, but be ready by this afternoon because we're going somewhere. I have a surprise for you!"

I'd be lying if I said I'm looking forward to it, I have no desire to celebrate my birthday this year or stay up late.

"You don't need to do all these. You are so sweet. "

I honestly tell him as I pick up a croissant from the breakfast he has made for me.

"Of course it does! Well, see you tonight, love you!"

I don't know what his business is, but I never ask him since I respect his privacy. I trust him and I know he knows what he's doing.

I decide to continue my breakfast but my mother's number calling me interrupts me once again.
"Good morning mum. "

I say while simultaneously gluttonously eating my food.
"Happy birthday sweetheart!"
I smile on the phone and thank her very much.
"I miss you so much mum. I hope I can come and see you soon. We have a lot to talk about. "

My mother and I were friends, we talk about everything between us and if she hears all the things I have to tell her I'm sure she'll be surprised.
My parents stayed back in London while I made the decision to return to Italy.

Their finances are much better there.

"Me and your dad will try to come soon okay baby?"

Before I can speak the bell rings making me curse.
"Mum someone is ringing my doorbell. I'll call you later. "

I hurriedly close it as I run to open it.
When I open the door an unknown man is in front of me with a large box in his hands.

"Mrs. Stella Ricci?"

I shake my head positively full of curiosity.
He asks me to put a signature and I do it in a hurry.
"This is for you. "
It gives me the package while I'm trying to find my balance, since it's big.
"Thank you so much. Have a great day. "

Stepping inside the house, I begin to hurriedly unwrap the parcel eagerly.

I open the box and the contents make me exclaim in surprise.

A beautiful red dress is folded carefully.
I knit my eyebrows as I wonder who it's from.

Underneath the dress is a small envelope and I aggressively tear it open.

"Happy Birthday.
Damiano. "

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