Ultraviolence -Damiano David

26

I feel his hands pushing me away, making me stumble.

"Have you lost your mind? What the fuck Stella?"

I don't know what to answer, I have no idea what to say.
It was a completely reckless move, I don't understand how I could have done such a thing.

My heart is beating hard, ready to leave my chest.
Your chest heaves loud and fast, my eyes are on the floor.

Thousands of thoughts run through my mind, along with how I betrayed John once again.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what i'm doing. "

"I can't believe you Stella. You destroying me, can't you understand? You left me, you fucking engaged with john in front of my eyes and now you are kissing me?"

"You are right i know. I can't move on. I want you Damiano, I hate the fact that I can't stay away from you. I'm sorry, i really am. "

"You don't how many times i forgave you. You kept leaving me. "
My mind is confused, I hardly understand what I'm doing.
I'm acting like a spoiled girl who doesn't know what she wants.
"I know you hate me. You don't want me anymore and that's fine. "

"Look, i'm trying to stay calm. It doesn't matter if i want you anymore. You destroyed everything and I'm getting married with Giorgia. I'm not doing this again Stella. You decide to marry John. "
I lower my head, avoiding eye contact with him so I don't cry again.
"I know, I thought that it will be better if-"

"You left me again Stella. Four years before you left me without saying a word and now you left me for the second time for someone else. I don't want any contact with you anymore. "

"We can be friends, Damiano-. . . "

"No, we can't be friends Stella. Not after what you did to me. Stay away from me, okay?"

[. . . ]
DAMIANO

"You did on purpose, didn't you?"
I breathe heavily as I try to think of my words.
"Giorgia, I like you. You are important to me, you really are. But i feel that this can't work anymore"

"You did it because she said yes to John. "
Accidentally, I knew she was right.
If she hadn't agreed to marry him, I wouldn't have come back to Giorgia.

"I did it because I wanted to try again with you. "

"She played with you and you still want her, I can't believe it. "
She was right, that's what hurt me most of all.

"This is not about her, I love you but not like that anymore. Don't you see it? We are like friends we don't even do sex anymore. "

"I don't deserve it Damiano. "
She don't deserve me.
I'm stupid for leaving her, for treating her like that. He deserves someone a thousand times better than me.

"I know, that's why I'm being honest with you. You are an awesome person, i can't play with you. "

"You will go back to her right?"

Yes.

"No, i won't. I'm telling you that this is not about her, this is to protect you Giorgia. "

"You are a looser Damiano, you really are. I don't know what to say, you fucking destroy yourself. "

"I know, I'm sorry. "

The ringtone of my cell phone interrupts us, and whoever it is, I thank them for putting me in an awkward position.

The name of the contact I see surprises me negatively.

"Stella?"

"Damiano, i know that you don't want to talk to me anymore, but i really need you. Please. "

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"No, i don't know where i am and there is no soul from this road. I'm scared. "

"What do you mean you don't know where you are Stella? How is this possible?"

"I was in a bar with John, just outside of town, but we argued and he left me in the middle of nowhere. Please help me. "

"Okay okay, can you describe me the place around you?"

I try to understand through her sobs what she is saying to me while Giorgia asks me what is going on.

"Try to stay calm okay? I have to understand what are you saying so i come and get you. "

I get my keys as fast as I can, leaving the house almost running.
For some reason, I don't have the time to think about what to do with Giorgia and in my heart I feel sad that I left her like this.

"Don't hung up, I'm coming. "

I'm trying very hard to figure out where she is from her descriptions.

"What's the name of the restaurant that he took you?"
I ask her as I get in the car.

"I. . . i can't remember Damiano, what am I supposed to do?"
I don't know what to say to her, I have no idea if I'll be able to find her in the night.
"Can you describe it at least?"

STELLA

Through my tears, I notice a familiar car and am relieved at Damiano's arrival.

I try to wipe away my tears as he hurries out of his black car.
I almost run to him and without even thinking about it I hug him tightly.
His arms wrap around me to my surprise as I continue to shake in fear.
"It's okay, I'm here. "
"Thank you so much Damiano, I don't know what I would do without you. "
"Come on, get in the car. "
I obey his words, sitting in the passenger seat in silence, continuing to be frightened.

He looks around his seat for something and I'm relieved to see him bring me a bottle of water.

"Relax, you are okay now. "

Along the way, no one talks.
I watch the road, although I am sure it will never leave my mind.

"Where are we going?"

"My house, I don't think so, so it's good to go at yours. "
The last thing I want is to see John, I don't understand how he dared to do this to me over a simple disagreement.
"You're right. "
About half an hour later, we arrive and I get off slowly.
Going in, the house is a bit of an upheaval, which makes me wonder.

"Where is Giorgia?"

"As I can see, she left. We broke up just before you called me. "

I'm surprised, I prefer not to say much though. Neither of us is in a mood to debate.
"I'm so sorry. "

"Don't be. I broke up with her. "

"May I ask why?"

"She is too good for me, she doesn't deserve me. "

I don't know what to answer, Giorgia is good. Honestly, she's so sweet and she really doesn't deserve all this. I feel bad about what I've done and I wish I could fix it.

"If you want, you can take a bath, first door on the left. "

The truth is, I need a bath more than anything else. My phone rings but I don't pick it up when I see John's name written on it.

"Thanks, I appreciate it. "

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