Ultraviolence -Damiano David

25

"They are fine. "
I say almost nonchalantly, the last thing I care about is the shoes I wear to the wedding.
I doubt they'll even show since the dress is long.

"Can you get a little more excited about your wedding?"
Victoria makes a remark and I blow my top.
"I'm just tired. "

I loiter in the store while I wait for the saleswoman to put my shoes in the box.

"Tired of what? You're the only bride who only tried on one wedding dress and one pair of shoes. "

He's joking, but deep down I know he's just trying to make me a little happy.
I feel bad that I have let John do all the wedding preparations, but I feel weak.

"It's just a wedding i guess. "

"So, are you ready to go to the studio? I will be by your side okay?"

No, i'm not.
"Yeah, it's okay. "

I feel nervous, but deep down I know that he won't do anything in front of the others.
I can't imagine how John would felt if he knew the truth.
I feel so bad, almost two months before our marriage and I'm still going wherever Damiano is.

On the way to the studio, my mind goes back to Damiano's words the last time I saw him.
He hates me and I don't want to think how badly he'll react.

"We're here, are you sure that you want to come with me?"

"Victoria, it's okay. "

I go up with her, the same stairs we had climbed last time, only now I already know how to go.

When we get outside, she looks at me one last time before I give her a look of reassurance.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late.

No one speaks when their eyes fall on me.
Damiano, who had been adjusting his microphone until now, gives me a dismissive look, making me lower my head.

"Hey,how are you?"
Thomas asks me politely, how ironic that he talks to me better than Damiano when he was the one who didn't like me?

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"Do you want to start stupid conversation with her?"
Damiano's harsh voice echoes through the studio, silencing them.

"How about to start the rehearsals?"
Ethan changes the conversation, taking his place on his drums.

"Yes of course, let's sing all together like happy friends. "
I hear him sneer and my nerves start to show.

"If I'm bothering you so much, I can leave. "

"No, Stella don't. . . "
Victoria tries to speak but he interrupts her.
"Of course you're bothering me. "

Everyone's eyes are on him, I don't think anyone would have thought he could be so cold.

"Why are you all looking at me? You all act as if nothing has happened. You know what? Ethan was right. You are the problem. You always were. I'm so stupid that i was so good to you. "

My eyes become watery, I try to hold back my tears once again.
I don't want to cry anymore, I'm not that weak.

I don't allow him to talk to me like that.

"This is not true. You started all this. "

"Eh, we. . . we have to go buy coffee. Right Ethan and Thomas?"
Victoria announces but she doesn't think I'm that stupid does she?

She's  doing it to leave us alone, but that's the last thing I want.

"Right. We'll be right back. "

I watch them hurry away as I take deep breaths to calm myself.

"Nice ring. "

His insolence is beyond me, I want to start shouting at him, I am angry with him.

"I know, John has a good taste. "

"John is a dick. "

"You are a dick. "

Before I can think about what I said, I am shocked at myself. My heart is beating loudly. I'm sure he's gonna be very angry after this.

"I think it's time for you to leave."

He stops paying attention to me, he starts working on his microphone as if nothing is happening.

I feel my blood boiling with anger, I will not tolerate such behavior from him.
He has no right to do this.

I don't understand exactly what I'm doing, I just feel my legs moving in a hurry until I get close to him and with my hands I bring his head close to mine . I push our lips in a kiss that I'm sure I'll regret afterwards.