The Darkness That Binds Us

Chapter 1: The Dream

Darkness. For a long time I am not sure if I am conscious. I feel my head ringing, the rock of someone's arms, the sway of a skiff, and the echo of a hand holding mine.

There's the occasional thought, but they are all intangible, without context or stimulus. They come and go like waves.

I must drift under again, because i'm now vaguely aware of dreaming. Dreaming of a boy with a hundred names and of a woman with one-thousand. She has raven hair and slate-grey eyes. Her beauty is intoxicating -but fierce.

Her eyes are cold and neutral but in the inky depths of her pupils something stirs. An ugly, gnarled knot of blacken thorns constantly twisting and reworking itself to conceal one singular precious secret. in its heart there is room for only one weakness; a love. A love for a child.

With a jolt, I realise that she is the boy's mother. I recognise their face, but in my addled mind i cannot focus them. My vision blurs and over laps as the same image plays over itself. I try to focus on the woman's eyes, but when i search for them all i find are two hollows of bottomless shadow.

I keel away in terror, suddenly aware of a horrible guilt, twisting in my chest like Grisha steel, burning me from the inside out.

"I loved you." the woman's rickety voice rings through my head, booming louder and louder and louder still. "I loved you and you betrayed me."

I want to scream. The voice is unbearable. My head rings. I reach out to the woman -anything to make her stop- i try to grab her hand, but without warning the ground rushes away from her and all i can do is watch as she plummets downward, vanishing into a bank of swirling clouds. A moment later the ground collapses around my feet and i am falling too.

Plunging into a river of ice, I cannot breath. Freezing water rushes my lungs, so cold it burns. I cannot breath. I am drowning.

I panic, thrashing like a hare caught in gorse. For a terrifying moment I do not know which way is up. I am Drowning. I am Drowning! Desperation causes me to kick towards the light.

With every stroke the sun seems further away. The river battles to tug me deeper, but then -before i know it- i break the surface. Sputtering icicles, I try to tread water but i cannot. The river has frozen over. I look up to see a tidemaker-girl running towards me. She lifts a rock in her small hands and i have just enough time to register what she is about to do to with it -before she brings it down over my head and pain explodes across my skull.

Red bleeds into my vison which begins unravelling into darkness. My head rings. I look up only to see her bring the jagged rock down again. I try to scream. I try to scream for help. For the woman with one-thousand names. But i cannot -and even if i could, she would not answer me because she is gone. "I loved you and you betrayed me."

Fear claws at my throat, unable to escape. I feel foolish. I feel vulnerable. I feel like a wild animal trapped in a hunters cage. The girl brings the rock down again, and again, and again, and it is in that moment that i realise the feeling of being betrayed is thousand times worse than the feeling of betraying.

I scream awake, sitting bolt up right, relief rushing out with the ability to make a sound. I keep screaming. I keep screaming until my throat is raw. Then i collapse backwards, gasping for air.

My head is ringing. My hand flies to my right temple, immediately catching on a neat line of stitches which run into my hair. It stings. I open my eye's, but all i see is black. I blink.

My eyes i are open. I am awake -but i can't see.