The Darkness That Binds Us

Chapter 15: The Tightrope

I awake to the sound of smooth foot-steps over a cold marble floor. My heart beat flickers. Casper, the guard who stands century outside my room, is talking to some one. I can only just make out the murmurs, but i'd recognise the voice anywhere. It's him.

I freeze, lying deadly still in my bed. 

"How is she?" I catch the darkling whisper.

Casper replies in tones so quiet i cannot clarify words, but i already know everything he is telling him.

"...I see."

My behaviour these past few weeks will have consequences -the darkling will make sure of it. The old city house flashes through my mind and i begin to dread the resident who might be the one paying for those consequences... 

"Would you like us to send her to you?"

There is a long deafening pause. The black silence crackles with anticipation. I dare not move. I dare not even open my eyes in case i give away the fact I'm awake to the heartrender watching me. 

"No..." There is hesitation in the darkling's voice. "No. Let Miss Starvok sleep. I'll have words with her tomorrow."

"Of course sir..."

They keep talking for awhile, until both their footsteps begin to fade down the corridor. The darkling's smooth gate dissolving into the darkness. It is only then that i notice a slight lop-sidedness to it. He's limping, I realise with a start. 

"Should i call for a healer sir?" I hear Casper ask one last time, the concern is his voice suddenly evident.  

I do not hear the darkling answer.

A vail of soundless darkness falls over me again and i am left with emptiness roaring in my ears.

I cannot fall asleep again after that. I have to know. I have to know why he's back. I have to know what's wrong with him...

I sit up, half-expecting a heartrender to seize my organs and shut me down immediately. They do not. No one objects to my rising either. I wonder...

I don't know what time it is but if they think i'm asleep...

I peel off the covers and slide my feet over the edge of the bed. No one stops me. I step onto the ice-cold floor. 

Everything aches from lying in bed all this time. I still feel horrible, like someone took a sledge hammer to my temples, i just choose not to acknowledge the fact.

 An invisible string draws me upwards and a cross the room. My heart quickens. I don't know what magnetism posses me as i pull on my cool-silk night gown and tiptoe towards the door to find it unlocked.

 My heart rate is going ballistic now. As i turn the door nob, my hands tremble. This is a terrible idea. Any minute now, Theodore will growl at me to go back to bed, or army of maids will seize my arms, or Oprichniki will come marching down this corridor i'm about to walk into -but they do not. 

I crack the door open and slip through, stepping into a draft. I pull my thin robes around me, as though if i wrap them tightly enough, they will somehow protect me. 

Casper is gone from his post and nobody has stopped me yet. I could go from this place -try at least. There's still furs in the stables and i could grab some food from the pantry on route. I couldn't steal a horse -but that doesn't mean i couldn't stow away on a cart. I've heard the delivery drivers do there supply drops in the early hours of the morning. I don't know were i'd run to, but i could run.  

And yet, i turn in the opposite direction and start walking up the corridor -to the darkling's  chambers. 

I feel the tug of that invisible thread pull tighter as i edge forward clinging to the wall. Every tip-toed-step in the dark feels like dancing on a tightrope. It's hundred and forty paces along this corridor to the right. I know the walk off my heart, but i have never walked it alone. I count. Ahundred-and-twenty-two, Ahundred-and-twenty-one, Ahundred-and-twenty.... nineteen... eighteen... What am i doing? My heart is racing too fast to count and answer questions -so i don't- and before i know it, i'm there.

I turn right and nearly walk straight into a wall. Confidence gone, I shuffle along to where the wall drops anyway and the door begins. I trace the smooth carvings; deep, curve gashes. There is no one guarding his door at this time either. It is also unlocked -as i find out when i turn the handle and walk in...