The Darkness That Binds Us

Chapter 7: The Ghost

The next morning the darkling brought me half a nectarine and a slice of sweet bread. 

I manged by taking small bites. When i felt so sick i didn't think i could physically eat anymore, he nudged me gently; "you need to eat at some point, Alina." Reluctantly i ate a few more bites of sweet bread, then i was done. He didn't push me any further. Instead he continued to talk through the fine details of our engagement. 

When i was feeling better, there would be a demonstration at the grand palace. There would be ambassadors from both Shu Han and Ferjda, with merchers  from Ketterdam and delegates from Novyi Zem.  The demonstration would showcase 'the new combined force at the fore-front of an united and invigorated second army '.

There-after, my engagement with the black general would be announced and there would be much joyous celebration for the 'matrimony of Sankta Alina, the eternal union between light and dark, which would be set at the heart of a 'reborn' Ravka.'

The wedding would take place on the winter solstice, alongside the coronation of Ravka's new High King General; Aleksander Morozova.  

He set out every aspect of the demonstration, regimented and clear, with nothing left uncertain. He told me what i was to say -what i wasn't to say- , how i was to act, what i was to wear... 

After a while, i zoned out.

The darkling sat with me for well over an hour as i picked at my food, and even when i was finished and he had gone through his points twice over, he stayed. 

"Talk to me." He said.

When you can't see someone, it's surprising how easy it is to ignore them.

"Alina."

 I looked up into the darkness.

"Say something." I felt the crackle of his hand brushing mine. "Anything."

 I snatched my hand out from under his. "What is there to say?"

It was true, after all it wasn't like anything he'd said this morning was up for discussion.

"You can't be a ghost for the rest of your existence." He said through the black. "It's not healthy. You need to commutate. You need to say how you're feeling. Please..."

I don't reply.

"Fine." The darkling stands. "You don't have to talk to me, just, talk to someone."

"I would," i swallow, "-except all my friends are dead."

It kills the conversation like a rock to head, but for some reason, all i am reminded of is the tidemaker-girl in my dreams, hitting that terrified little boy again and again, and all i feel is betrayal.