The Darkness That Binds Us

Chapter 16: The Knife

The darkling's chambers are cold, fresh with the scent of uninhabited rooms. Tip-toeing blindly across the floor, i dare not shatter the fragile sheet of silence.   

Maybe he's not in. I suddenly feel very stupid for assuming he would be. I shiver.  My head aches. I should just go back to bed. I don't what i'm doing here and any minute his Oprichniki will walk in, demanding an answer -which i do not have. I'm about to stop and turn around, but then -abruptly- i bumping into something solid. 

My heart skips and i leap back. The side of my chest twinges and i try not to double over as i reach out in the dark, my hand making contact with the edge of a table. I rein in my heart beat, i walked into a desk, that's all. His Desk. 

I trace my hand over the ornately textured table lip, wondering if he does the same from time to time. This is where the darkling works. I stroke the cluttered surface, thumbing over the piles and piles of papers i can never read. There is a quill and ink pot and a cup of tea that has long since gone cold. 

Then my hand collides with something searing hot. A lamp, i realise with a start. It rocks and begins topple. I have to fight clumsily to keep it up right. It stings to touch and makes a terrible racket of clanging metal, which completely obligates the peace i fought so agonisingly hard to preserve. Finally, i let my hands fly off, fingers singed, they land on the opposite end of the table on something razor sharp and freezing cold. I feel steel cut my index finger, but i don't have any time to think about that after i realise that if this lamp is on, then...

"Alina?" 

The darkling is right behind me. His whisper carries all the way across the room. I turn.

"What are you doing here? Alina... It's three o'clock in the morning. How did you get out of the rooms? Why was no one watching you?" The darkling moves towards me, but before he can reach me, i push myself off the desk, closing the distant to throw my arms wide up around him. 

I give into the pull and place my head against his chest, letting my power pulse through me. The words are out of my mouth before i can check them. "I missed you."

In the dark there in only silence. Then, moving his hands to wrap around my back he lets his heavy head drupe onto mine. "I missed you too." He breaths back,  brushing what might have been a kiss against my crown. I nuzzle my face into his neck, drinking in the sure scent of bare winter branches. He does the same. 

I let my feet be lifted and give myself over to the feeling of being hugged. For the briefest of moments, we can just be two lonely people looking for consolation. But the memories are never far behind and no matter how tightly i tuck under his chin, they will always find me. Mal.

The Darkling unfurls his arms and steps away before i can. Leaving me standing alone again.

"Aleksander..."

He surges forward taking my head in both hands. "You don't know how much I've wanted to hear you say that name."

As soon as he makes contact, the invisible thread that pulled me here explodes into a rushing rapid of fate. My heart speeds, heating my skin. I do not know what he is about to do to me, but i'm too lost in the touch to do anything about it. Part of me doesn't care. So long as i'm here, with him, all the nightmares and all my  worries blow away. Like ash on the wind.  I close my eyes. A tide of fate crashes against my forehead. His nose grazing the ridge of my nose. My mouth, a faction way from his. His breathe pushing against mine, racing, spiralling out of control...  

"I'm sorry." he blurts, "I don't know what..."  the darkling pushes away from me; his turn to bump into the table. I hear a sharp hiss of breath. "I didn't me to..."