Awaited Redemption

Wednesday | Aarifah

Wednesday

Aarifah

The printed words blurred as I tried my best to keep focus, but as another yawn found its way out of my mouth, I knew it was time to give my brain and body their deserved rest.

I removed the book from my lap, and put it on the bedside table after marking the page and shutting it with the desire of never opening it again.

But as I stretched out on the bed, and tried closing my eyes to go to sleep, it was in no way ready to claim me.

I faced the ceiling and started twirling the hem of my bed sheet around my fingers.

How could I be so naive? So lost? So astray?

How could I not have realized all of this sooner?

If I would've, I could've saved myself from a lot of sins.

I could've done something useful with my life that would've benefited me in the hereafter other then drowning myself in studies.

I could've been a better daughter; giving the time and help that my mother deserved. I could've been a better sister; had tried to become her best friend. I could've been a better friend; being there for them in their times of difficulty. And most importantly been a better Muslim that would've eventually turned me into a better human being.

Last night I was a wreck; kept fidgeting with my hands, or my Hijab, and my mom seeing me that way got so agitated that she smacked my hand, and asked me with a concerned expression on what was disturbing me, I just shook my head.

But I could see in her eyes that she was still worried, but then my brother distracted her by talking about his university experience so far.

That night when I came home and stretched myself across the bed. I cried rivers.

I couldn't help but marvel at all the mistakes made in the past.

How bad of a person I was, and still am!

How I didn't realize all of these facts that should've been engraved in my mind.

Uninvitedly, a yawn crept out of my mouth as my eyes started to get heavy from the onslaught of these thoughts.

And soon my mind blanked as I was almost about to succumb to sleep, but before I could, a sound punctured through the blurred darkness, and even though I wanted to keep my eyes shut and ignore the sound. I couldn't find comfort in ignorance.

Agitated, I opened my eyes and let the sound sound register.

It was the Athan. Prayer call.

I switched to my right side and retrieved my phone from the side table.

It was Zuhur Prayer time.

I kept staring at the phone for a few minutes.

Dwelling between the obligation to get up and pray, or the desire to stay on the bed and let sleep overcome my senses.

But then I remembered last night. The realization. The guilt. The will to turn back time and make it all right.

With that thought I remembered a quote which went something like, "Learn from the past to brighten your future."

I have almost ruined my past, but not my present. Not my future, and with that thought I pushed myself off the bed with a determination that was ignited by my renewed faith.

And went towards the bathroom to make Wudu and stand in front of my Creator, to thank and praise Him for everything He has provided me with.

Especially with the gift of Islam. The gift of faith.

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Asalam O Alikum Wa Rahmatullah everyone!

Okay before anything else, just let me scream!

AAAHHHHHHAAAHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAHHAAHHAA!!!!!!

1.1k reads! Are you kidding me?!

Alhamdulilah! Alhamdulilah! Alhamdulilah!

Surely Allah is the Greatest!

I couldn't have expected it to reach these many reads! But Alhamdulilah it did and I couldn't get over that fact!

Alhamdulilah!

But guys I need support, if you are reading then please try to vote or comment...

I would truly appreciate it!

JazakAllah Khair for your support patience and the time you took to read the book and this note :)

But before this go and Pray because Allah gave me the will to write and you the chance to read, thank Him and then read this, the book is not going anywhere but the prayer time is going!

Take care and don't forget to smile! It's Sunnah! :)