Awaited Redemption

Thursday | Neno

Neno

"Leave her alone! I said leave her!"

"No! You leave this house! And me and my daughter alone! Did I not tell you before? You have no right over her! I am her mother and she will do what I want!"

"Please leave... I cannot see you hurt, please. This is my decision. I am ready for it."

"I can't let you do that... Do you not realize? I can't. I know I've made mistakes but please don't do this to yourself."

"Please leave, I am okay. I am sure it will be fine."

"I will come back for you. I will. Mark my words. I am not leaving you to deal with this alone."

"I said get out! You are not worthy enough to be here! This is not your place! Get out! Before I throw you out myself!"

Then the only sound heard, and left echoing across the life less walls, in the sheer silence of breathed accomplishment, a victory of one, the failure of other, and the promise that bounded one to the hope of that someday; when he will come back. Was of retreating footsteps.

Cold sweats. I was cold. Why wasn't the heater open?

I felt like fainting.

This stupid clock was hammering against my skull. Why can't it shut?

I held my head between my palms, and with the other hand, reached out and picked up the phone from the side table, and shut the alarm off.

I wiggled against the hold of memories that held me down. Making it hard for me to let go, to get up.

I stretched my back, and got into a sitting position with the support of the frame of the bed, and leaned my head back against it.

Taking deep breathes.

I bent down and tried not to haul everything that I had ate last night.

After a while, I managed to gather my wits.

And pulled the blanket off of myself. I turned and pulled my legs down. Gripping the edge of the side of the bed, my legs dangling in mid air.

I fought her voice with everything in me. Just like I did very time she visited me in my dreams. My memories.

"Please go. I will be okay."

"I can't see you hurt. You already had a lot to deal with. Go. Please."

"I am okay. I am sure it will all be okay."

I fought hard, and her voice started to fade away. For a moment, I didn't wanted to let go. I wanted to hold on. To that one thing I had left of her.

To somehow feel closer to her.

But it was a really small part. A part that could easily be quieted down. Easily be quenched.

And that is just what I did. Because the pain was too much. That small wish would cause me my sanity if I gave into it.

Her voice finally faded away, and just like that. She left me again.

I got up, and headed for the washroom.

"I would come back for you."

I froze on my way.

"I would come back."

No. This wasn't happening to me.

"I promise."