The Things We Cannot Say

.10.

Once me and my hyung sit back at the table and get settled, my uncle puts down his chopsticks and starts the story. Not just any story. My story.

"It was a really normal morning for me actually; I woke up to the birds chirping by the window and my wife's voice, the singsong tone of her voice. I really like birds actually. In fact when I was young, Hyu Jun and I used to own a bird. It was a Robin, reminds me of Taehyung whenever I think about it."

I roll my eyes silently, making sure nobody saw it. Well, actually Baekhyun hyung saw it. But I don't think he minded. He just giggled slightly, understanding the feeling I was feeling.

"Anyways, my wife woke the children up and got them ready for school, while I got up after breakfast and left the house. But then I realised that I left my towel upstairs, and I had to climb the long staircase up to my room. You know, because we live in a two-story house.

Then I took my shovel, which looked brand new, even though it was 4 years old -because I take care of my things very well- and left for the field. While I was on my way, I stopped by to say hello to a few people and then went to my field. After working for very long, I could go back home, and see my girls and of course my wife. I was so distracted in that thought that I tripped over my own feet and scraped my hands and arm. There was a terrible burning sensation and I even almost cried because it was so painful. But of course, I didn't. A real man does not cry.

I examined the shovel for damage and luckily there was not a single scratch on it. I dusted it and then suddenly- Waa! Waa!- I cried! I was so surprised that I dropped it and even considered running back home. I felt so ashamed, because it could not have cried, it was a shovel." Uncle Jing scratches his arm as his daughters' giggle at his stupidity.

"As I was doing so, my eyes wandered to the bushy area near the stream that runs by the field , in front of the tiger paw mountain, and I saw four tigers, each the size of a baby cow, circling something. At first I thought it was good omen, because we rarely see tigers where we live and they symbolize strength and whatsoever. "

"I thought it was three tigers and a horned animal." His daughter interrupts.

"But then I realised it was three tigers and a horned animal. It was big, standing guard of that thing. The tigers weren't attacking that creature, which was a stag, nor was it attacking them. I crept a bit closer, for I was brave, and I saw a hand sticking out of the bundle, caressing a tigers head! That tiger was sitting right next to the bundle and staring at it. Then suddenly, the stag raised its head and stared directly into me, causing me to stagger back. It let out a sound, causing the tigers to look at me too.

I didn't know what to do, I felt paralyzed. The stag came up to me first and circled around me, until it made me dizzy. I plopped to the ground, unable to think straight. Then two tigers came up to me, except the one sitting with Taehyung, and sniffed me. They occasionally hit me with their stripped tail. I couldn't move at all, felt their hot breath breathing down my back. After some time, they growled into my face and probably went back to him with pity. I slowly stood up, and walked to the baby."

" I thought you distracted the tigers and just ran with Taehyung oppa?" One of his daughter's claim.

"No, I remember him saying that the stag pushed him towards Taehyung oppa." Another one says.

"No I'm sure the tigers chased him up until he reached the village. He snatched the baby from their grip. Do you remember anything Taehyung?"

Suddenly all eyes turned towards Taehyung. Overwhelmed by the sudden attention, he turns towards Baekhyun for support.

" It's obvious that he wouldn't know anything. He was a newborn."

Uncle clicked his tongue and nodded. "Yeah. So the next thing I remember is that I was standing in a village with a wailing baby in my hands."

"I thought you just ran away from the chasing tigers?"

"No the tigers gave him the baby and watched him walk back to the village."

"No I remember that there was a scorpion near the baby so he had to kill it. Then the Tigers got angry and chased him when he grabbed Taehyung oppa."

Never ending theories, never ending dinner.

"I then stayed a bit far away from the house, not knowing what to do with him. I already had three daughters, so I assumed he was a girl. I didn't want to bring him to my wife, for she would suspect me. After some time, I had no choice so I dragged myself to my house.

The first question I was asked was 'who is that'. I replied honestly, for I am a honest man, whatever had happened. My wife didn't know what to do. This boy, it would be amazing if we kept him. He was lucky, lucky for surviving, lucky for not getting eaten by the tigers. But there will be too many mouths to feed. I already have enough work as it is.

My wife then told me to give Taehyung to her sister, for she only had a son, and having another boy in the household wouldn't hurt.

And that is exactly what we did."

The whole table was quiet for some time, as if hearing this story for the first time; processing the story.

Nobody knew if this was my actual story at all, if there were tigers or not, if they chased him or not. It could have been wild dogs. It's been years since he found me, it is possible for his memories to be distorted. Even though I wish it wasn't.

There are so many mysteries about me. I mean... I don't even know myself, so who can know me?

Mother gets up and goes to the kitchen, as I turn to my uncle.

"Is that really it, uncle?" Taehyung whispers to his elder, who had started to eat again.

"What is really it?"

"On how you found me? You didn't see anyone around?"

"No I didn't."

"Do you remember when you found me?"

"Some time after New Year. But I'm sure you looked a few days old."

"Really? So I could've been born before New Years Day?"

"Probably."

"You found me near the river right... Is it a possibility that my parents were from Daegu?"

My uncle looks questioningly at me..

"Why do you wanna know boy? What good is it gonna do for you? Your parents abandoned you, so trying to find them is a waste of your time." And then, maybe seeing the sadness on my face, he continues out of pity," You can try asking around if anyone remembers anything."

But then trying to speak logically he says,"They abandoned you,Taehyung, that means they didn't want you anymore. There is no use trying to find them after they said that they don't want you. There is no use in finding out. Nothing will change."

Then Mother suddenly appears."What does he want to find out?"

And that is truly the story. Still with missing parts.