The Things We Cannot Say

.21.

Now Jimin and I pass each other with a smile in our eyes. We never speak to each other, but I share a secret with him that no other child in the village knows, he shares a joy with me that no other adult in the village comprehends.

It's not just between us, but between the four of us. Of course, Jimin can't hang out with me, Yoongi and Hobi hyung, but when we can, we do.

Since Yoongi and Hobi hyung are from Daegu, the place where the palace is, they need to go home often. They come very frequently though, with alot of guards. But that doesn't stop us from hanging out. Sometimes, we sneak Jimin and his sister into the house so the five of us, including Yoonji, can chill and talk. Sometimes we play games.

I understand the name calling now. Somehow, it does not matter to me what he did or what he appears to be, because I know what he is. I feel him, and that is enough.

Sometimes I stare into the emptiness while working in the fields. Of course I pretend to be working; my hands move, pulling empty air. What is Jungkook doing right now? Were my words very harsh? What if he wanted to take away his life!? What do I do without him?No...no-nonono... I possibly can't have left him to that decision...

I quickly stand up straight as my mind wandered into the depth of my fears. I start to breathe faster and drop the weeds I was holding.

Jimin notices this and cocks his head sideways, as if asking me what had happened.

Other people in the field also look up at me, curious. I start to breathe faster as my eyes fill with tears. The suffocated feeling has returned again.

"Stupid boy," Mother hits my head. "Your eyes grow in the back of your head. Tell you to pull weeds, you pull the potatoes."

I can't feel anything. The only pain I can feel is in my heart. What if..?

"See this child? He never listens to what I say. Always in his own fantasy world. Stupid and useless." Mother complains to someone nearby.

I avert my gaze into Jimin's eyes and shake my head. He frowns and bites his lip.

All he could do was to ignore me. If he helped me, he knew I would be talked on badly too.

He left the fields and asked me to follow him out after some time.

I couldn't stay there any more anyways. I felt dizzier by the second. I took a step back and held my head, telling myself to focus inside.

But if I stayed there for some more time, I would either break out crying or loose consciousness. I run out of the field so that i would not fall onto anyone's crops.

I slow down towards the end, the dizziness getting the best of me. All I remember was people shouting about someone and falling into someone's arms.

...

When I woke up, I was surrounded by expensive things in the room. I figured that it was definitely not anyone's in the village. It wasn't Yoongi hyung's home in Busan either. So... I was definitely not in the village. Then where was I?

Suddenly, the door opened and someone rushed in. I jumped, startled by the sudden opening. My eyes widen at the sight of the person who came in.

"Jungkook?"

Jungkook looks at me, and blinks. He sits beside me and feels my head.

"Taehyung, are you okay?"

I didn't care about myself anymore. I finally found my Jungkook. I pull him into a tight hug as tears start escaping my eyes.

"Jungkook... I'm so sorry for what I said, I didn't mean it."

Jungkook pats my back slowly.

"I guess that guy you liked is Jungkook?"

I frown and pull away from the hug.

Jimin was there instead of Jungkook.

I inch away from him slowly and shake my head.

"No... No.. it's not- he's nobody."

"Taehyung, what's wrong?"

The door opens again, and this time, Yoongi hyung, Yoonji and someone else came into the room.

"You feeling better now kid?" Yoongi hyung asked me as I nod.

"What happened to me?"

"The doc said that you were really scared of something, so your heart rate increased and you fainted."

Jimin frowns at me. "Jungkook, was it? He is the one you like?"

I nod, biting my lip.

"Where are we?"

Jimin grins and points to the unknown person.

" Hoseok hyung's place. Daegu. And that his elder sister, Jiwoo Noona."

My eyes widen as I quickly hold Jimin's hands.

"Who did I fall on? What did the people in the village say? How are you even allowed to be here?"

Jiwoo Noona laughs and sits beside me.

"Taehyung, don't fret. You fell right into Hoseok's arms. I asked Yoongi on what we could do and he suggested that we bring you to the royal pharmacy."

Yoongi nods, half smiling.

"The people in the village were quite shook that you fell right in front of the Prince, but we got out of there quick so that people would not focus too much on you. Also, Jimin walked past with the guards while wearing a straw hat. I guess it worked? I don't know how you did that Jimin."

Jimin shrugs and wiggles his eyebrows.

"When you have to keep your relationships a secret, nothing is a hard thing to get by. Especially with these two."

Jimin points at Yoongi and Hoseok hyung and shakes his head.

Hoseok hyung looks around and cocks his head sideways.

"Okay- what's happening? Are y'all gossiping about me or something? I literally left for like... 5 minutes."

We all laugh and talk for a while.

My eyes set on Yoonji's belly as my eyes widen.

"You don't mind if I take a stroll with Yoonji right?"

The siblings look at each other and then back at me.