The Things We Cannot Say

.16.

I wake up to my body being shook by some unknown force.

"Tae hyung? Hyung! Wake up!" I hear someone calling out to me, shaking me up from my dreamless void.

My eyes refused to open up properly to see who was shaking me up, so I reached out my hand.

Someone's hand held mine and with no doubt, I knew who it was.

"Junie? What are you doing here? It's dangerous for you!"

Yeonjun slaps my arm, forcing me to wake up.

"Hyung! What are you doing here? You aren't supposed to be here! Don't tell me you slept here all night!?"

I smile a bit.

"So you did? Oh god, Mrs Kim is going to be very angry! Especially with what happened..."

I slowly get up and follow Yeonjun out of the sugarcane field.

"Why? What happened?"

There is an unusual crowd by the village gate. The fisherman have just come in. The nets are thrown in a pile on the ground by the gate and everyone is talking and fingers left and right point north towards Ilsan. I hurry up with the younger boy.

I accidentally bump into Jihoon hyung, who was together with his sister, Jihyun and brother... Jimin.

I avoid his eyes and stare into the elder male.

"Hyung, did something happen in the village?"

Jihoon hyung nods his head and points at a particular spot on the mountain.

" Da Bin from Ilsan just told us last night that the wild dogs took one of their children from their village. Someone in the village found the child's hand and followed the bloody trail to find the child's remains. They have planned to go kill the dogs when they return for the remains."

I nod and look away, accidentally, right into my mother's eyes.

I mentally slap my self.

" Yah! Where were you last night?"

What could I say? What could I tell her about Jimin and Jungkook? What could I tell her about the sugarcane field?

Mother shoots daggers at me. "Are you stupid? Do you want to die?"

I wonder if she called out to me and I missed it. Is she really worried? Or is she just annoyed to take care of another child that did not belong to her?

" I... Was cutting some sugarcane and fell asleep."

"You useless shit- are you telling me that you have been sleeping in the sugarcane field all night?"

From the corner of my eye, I spotted Jimin's eyes widening and looking at me in concern. I pretend I don't notice, even though I badly wanted to hug someone right now and needed the comfort.

It was scary enough by myself in the dark. The Tiger lily was held firmly in my right hand, hiding from my mother.

"I fell asleep and when I woke up, the door was locked."

She slaps my face, but I cannot talk back, for there were people around me. I bit my lip, unable to forget the fact that Jimin and his siblings were witnessing what was happening. I hate this. I hate him. I hate him for seeing everything.

"Is that really what happened? I don't know if you are telling the truth or just fell asleep while playing at your friend's house or something. If you have any."

Angrily, my head snaps up as I frown. " I was really locked out. Did you look for me, mother?"

She turns away from me and goes to help with the nets. I know she never came looking for me in the first place. She know it too, because she turns away, ashamed of how little she cares for me.

Jimin is watching me. He quickly looks away. I hate him. I hate him for seeing this. I hate him for knowing. I glare at him as I walk by, into the cowshed.  I sit on the shed beside the cow, which greets me with a lick on my hand.

I smile, happy that even my cow missed me. Maybe she didn't, maybe she was just hungry.

I hear someone shouting from a distance and waving to me frantically. I wave back and spread out my arms. In return the younger boy pounces on me and we both roll on the floor in each others embrace.

"I thought something happened to you hyung... I was so scared... I ran around trying to find you but I couldn't and-"

"Shhh, it's alright... I'm here now." I whisper into his ear, patting his head. I rested my chin on his head, while he buried his face into my chest, silenced by happiness and fear of the unknown.

"Don't ever leave me alone like that." He whispered, voice almost breaking.

His arms wrapped around me like chains, his whispered words the lock sealing my fate.