The Things We Cannot Say

.13.

I go to the sugarcane field to wait for the fishermen and help with the nets. From there, I can hear the fishermen as soon as they touch the sandy ground at the edge of the village.

I surround myself with the sugarcane field and breathe in the fresh air.

" Jungkook, I'm here. Again, I am safe." I say.

Jungkook looks back at me and motions for me to sit beside him at the edge of the cliff.

"Of course you are safe hyung. You are a lucky person, remember. Don't forget, I've also been around quite often these days."

I breathe in the salty air as the waves crash onto the platform of rocks before the cliff.

"I wonder when I will be old enough to go to the shore and help with the fish.

"Soon, I think," Jungkook says.

"Not just when they fish in the deep sea, but when they
pull the nets from the shallow sea, too, in the hot weather.Those nets are humongous. You know what they do sometimes?

When their catch is so good that the baskets spill over, we can pick up the fish, make a little fire and roast them. Even talking about it is making my mouth water."

"You just want to go to the sea because you are always hungry and want to eat the fish!" Jungkook frowns, hitting my thigh.

He then proceeds to laugh at my visibly offended face.

"Excuse you but I also because I want to help pull that big net. It looks like it takes nearly ten people to pull it. I just want to try." To coax the creatures from the sea, to understand about the starfish and seahorses, to throw them back, away from the nets, betore it is too late.

I don't want the sea creatures to be abandoned out on shore. They are considered useless anyways. Like me.

There was an awkward silence as Jungkook stares at me. And then suddenly, he plants a kiss on my cheek.

"We both are guys, so I don't see why I can't do this." He tries to justify himself.

I put a hand on the part where he kissed me. It was a euphoric feeling, when he kissed me, it cannot be described with words.

"Did you just-"

Jungkook quickly gulps and flashes his bunny smile. "You deserve it hyung. I hope that gave you a bit of support."

"Okay but- YOU LITTLE CHEEKY MONSTER! YOU SHOULD'VE HAVE TOLD ME FIRST! I WASN'T READY!"I got up and chased Jungkook around the cliff.

"What did you want me to say? Oh I'm going to kiss you,be ready!?"

"I don't know!? Maybe something like, 'I know you are sad so I am going to kiss you!?'" I was about to throw hands at the younger when I heard ...

A giggle, not from me or Jungkook. I stop in a hurry, looking around.

"Its me, Taehyung." Jimin appears, brushing aside
sugarcane leaves and offering me a cut stem of sugarcane.

My cheeks flush. I back away. He saw everything. He must've seen everything. He probably knows-

Jimin sats quickly, "I just cut it. It's very good, the last of the old batch, full of sweet juice! You'll have time to eat it before the fishermen come back. I'll eat one, too."

He was trying to give me a peace offering, but what good can it do? Make him forget everything he just saw and heard? I will not have it.

"I will not have your disgusting sugarcane," I shout and run. To nowhere. There is nowhere I can go. I run along the edge of the sugarcane field, searching.

There are people everywhere. I stand at the edge of the cliff, contemplating whether to jump into the water. I knew how to swim so it wouldn't be a big deal.

"Taehyung!" Jimin comes chasing up to me. "What is the matter?" He looks at my face and says,"I'm sorry, I won't do that again. "

I don't even want to look at him.

"Really. From now on, I'll make a lot of noise when I go to the sugarcane. I will sing out loud."

How long has he been there? How many times has he heard me?

"I never go into the sugarcane field this early actually. I just felt like eating something sweet today. The sugarcane leaves were rustling, you know how inviting it is. Like waving hands. It is the wind Taehyung, believe me."

"Just go away! Get lost!" I run into the village, into the house. My grandmother is making sweet potato porridge and tells me to bring in some grass for the fire.

I burry my face into Jungkook's chest in my room. He envelops me in his arms and pats my back. He kisses my head and reassures me. At least with him, I know I am safe. At least in my room, I know nobody is hiding.