The Things We Cannot Say

.2.

Taehyung POV.

Not many things are named after dreams, but everybody has a name. It is only natural and necessary.  Even the dogs of my neighbour have names, Iseul and Haneul. Even their names have meanings, dew and heaven/sky respectively.

Even families with one child have a name to differentiate their child from the other kids. So when they call out their names near dusk, the air will part, recognising that name, and it reaches out to the child saying, "You're mine."

Even gods have names. How beautiful it is to have names that mean something, not just anything, but something.

My friend Jungkook, his name means "Talented Innocence". His parents must have known what he would become when they named him. They must have had secret dreams for him when they held him carefully in their arms and named him after what they thought he would be. With a name like that, you cannot go wrong.

He had doe eyes and pouty lips which gave him an innocent look. His smile was contagious. He had sun-kissed skin and chocolate brown eyes which turned hazel when the sun shone at him.

Jungkook stares at me with his doe eyes and back at the blueish orange sky.

I turn my face towards the sky. In the sugarcane field, sharp leaves crisscross one another, cutting into the sky, so hard to see the orange. Especially if you're smaller than the sugarcane, and you disappear as if you aren't there.

"Jungkook, if you were to name me, what would you call me?" I asked him with lustrous eyes.

Jungkook turns from the sky, his cheeks slightly dimple. He hugs his knees to his chest. Or is he shrugging? He thinks. Very hard. It is difficult to find a name for me. Where can you begin?

"I was born in the winter, under a starry night." I say to help him. I don't even know if I believed that myself. But the last month of the year is my favourite. Even if it meant that I had to sleep in the cold winter.

"How do you know that?" he asks. "Almost every night of the last month of the year is bright and starry. That would not mean that you were born under a starry night."

Amazing. This guy catches the light of the sun in his eyes, even as the light leaves everything else.

"Yes, yes. You were born under a starry night. When the sky shone brighter than ever. Yes, yes. Shouldn't you be named Winter Star?"

I consider. I stare at him intently while he scrunches up his eyebrows and tries to think of names for me. I observe his facial features, engrossed in his beautiful looks.

"Or what about Shining star?"

I wonder.

"Bright Star? Little Star? Moon Star?"

Tiger star. Flowing star. Moon star. Glowing star. All these names we throw out and about, for one to land on me.

"Taehyung! Taehyung! You disgusting boy, where the hell are you?"

The words stop. I cover my mouth to prevent myself from making a sound. Jungkook becomes stiff and looks at me with worried eyes.

"TAEHYUNG! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?"

I stand up, whisper goodbye to Jungkook who squeezes my hand, and walk out of the sugarcane that hides me. As my feet touches the sandy ground near the gate of the village, my mother shouts," Where did you go? Why must I call you so many times? Are you deaf?"

I pretend that I'm still too far away to hear anything, and I tried to hurry as slowly as I can. She does not wait for me to answer. I smile to myself in happiness. She then says, " Next time I'm not going to call you so many times. Then you don't have to come back for dinner."

I didn't care if she served me dinner or not. All I wanted was some alone time with my best friend. Is it too much to ask?

She frowns at my effort.
" Can you increase your speed, you lazy shit? Your father has to go out to sea." She turns back to the house, too impatient to wait for me.

"This stupid shit, I don't know what he thinks everyday. I must knock his head a few times... So that he would know what it happening around him."

I leave Jungkook behind, finally, but his thoughts run after me, wordless, and folding me like mist.

And the sugarcane echoes, "Poor Taehyung, The lost child."