make it easy | young royals ✓

five

Wilhelm

Love or duty?

Those three words have been ingrained in fine letters in my brain, and everything I've done in the last few months seems to come undone with one night of drinks and partying. Perhaps it was the high-spirited music we were dancing in, the darkness in the corner of the room as security, but I'd drunkenly pressed my lips against his. 

He pushed me away, but I could tell he didn't want me to stop. Or had I imagined all of it?

I wake up to find myself sleeping on my stomach still in last night's clothes. I must've crashed immediately after the party because I can't remember a whole lot of what happened. Dancing with Simon, the kiss, playing spin the bottle with Felice and her friends, downing swallows of alcohol someone brought to the group. My head pounds, and I stumble over to the bathroom, turning on the taps and running my face through with cold water. 

I'm barely composed when my door flings open, and it's August, his irritating head popping into my room carefully as if he's about to catch me making out with Simon on my bed again. I stare at him like he's out of his mind.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I wriggle out of last night's shirt and walk over to grab a new one. He lets himself into my room without invitation and leans against the door frame, smirking like he knows he's the last person I want to see.

"Your mom is here."

My hand pauses in mid-air. "What?"

"She's about ten minutes out." August looks annoyingly pretentious, his hair slicked back effortlessly and the expensive black turtleneck free from spillage. It's ten in the morning on a Saturday. "The headmistress wanted me to tell you, give you a heads up before she comes."

I suppress a groan. "Great, thanks."

Brushing my teeth in a hurry, and I wash my face properly with a towel, throwing on a presentable outfit. I stand in the middle of my room in panic, and attempt to tidy up as quick as possible before she arrives. My bed is completely unmade, so I spent a minute pulling at the covers, wanting to not disappoint her. Popping a mint into my mouth, the last thing I want to happen is for her to smell alcohol on my breath.

When the queen sits down on my bed, she exhales, glancing around the room to take in how I'm settling in. I doubt she even knows it's Erik's poster on my wall that's facing her directly, she never really spent time getting to know us.

"How are the classes?"

I look away so she doesn't see the guilt on my face. "I start next Monday."

She wants to say something but is holding herself back. Instead, she picks up a crumpled shirt from the floor and places it on the bed. "I assume that August is looking out for you?"

Looking out for me like he's completely obsessed with me, I want to yell in frustration. He acts like he's my brother, but he isn't. And he couldn't be the furthest from Erik. "He's been helpful and very welcoming." 

My mother looks pleased with my words, and I can't help but think it's because August is so fucking perfect and just the mention of him can make her satisfied. The all-knowing, well rounded, big-headed elitist would make the best prince, wouldn't he? Not her son whose biggest worry is coming to terms with his sexuality, and gets in scandals after scandals with no regard for the image of the monarchy.

"I've come all the way to talk to you about -" she stops, watching my face. "We want you to date a girl here at Hillerska."

"What?" 

"Look, after what happened last year... we think the best option to completely squash any rumours flying around is for you to date a girl. You see, the narrative is that the prince spends a year away from Hillerska to learn how to be the crown prince and get away from the public's eye. When he returns to the boarding school, he starts seeing a girl."

I stand up, my cheeks flushing completely red in indignation and outrage. "That's fucking crazy."

My mother's expression becomes stern, and I can't tell if she's actually expecting me to sit there and smile and nod and agree to what she's proposing. "Wilhelm! Will you just think about it?"

"Hmm, I've thought about it." I pretend to scratch my head as if I'm trying hard to decide: "and I'm saying no way."

"This isn't about you!" She looks away, "this is about our family, don't you realise? You can't keep on being selfish like this, I won't let you."

I cross my arms in front of my chest. "It's old news, okay? No one cares about some dumb rumour anymore."

"Erik would've done this for our family." Her voice drips with bitterness, and my stomach churns at her words. She seems to realise what she said because my mother quickly corrects herself. "What I mean is that Erik would've wanted you to do this."

Even though August infuriates me, I quote his words. "I think Erik would've wanted me to be myself, don't you?"

"Not everything is about you."

"I didn't choose to be a prince." I walk over to my desk to avoid looking at her, my hands in fists by my side. I'm on the verge of lashing out in fury and storming out of the room, but I keep my feet grounded on the spot. "I just want to live my life."

"Just listen to me, Wilhelm." My mother's voice is calm, placid in juxtaposition to my agitated state. "I didn't want it to come down to this, but - if you don't do this, I'm going to make sure you never see that boy again."

I laugh resentfully. "How are you going to do that? Get the bodyguards to swat Simon away every time I go near him? How about-"

"I'll send you to school in the United States." The lines on her face are prominent, and her age is showing when I whip around to stare at her. "Phillips Andover academy is a great school, and I'm in touch with the dean there."

Her threat suddenly becomes incredibly real, and I'm brutally aware of the power and influence held by the Queen of Sweden.

"I didn't have a choice to begin with, did I?" My words are quiet, timidly executed. 

"You'll find someone suitable of high class, and let August know when you guys will be in Bjärstad. We'll leak a photo of you and her to the media, feeding their frenzy."

I want to scream, and bring a shaky hand to my mouth, biting my nails. "Are you serious? What's August got to do with any of this?"

"He'll make sure you find someone that's acceptable, and he's going to be the one taking the photos."

"Great, we're getting a rerun of last year!" I whooped, but my stomach feels like it's been punched, and it's like I'm running out of oxygen in my chest. 

"You have to keep up appearances this year, Wilhelm. There's no more room for mistakes."