make it easy | young royals ✓

twenty

Simon

I watch the scene unfold like a train wreck, biting the insides of my lips to forbid myself from inserting myself into the spiralling situation. This is a lone man's battle, and while he'll have my support, this is his war to fight and finish.

"How can you make me choose?" Wilhelm bristles with exasperation, and runs his fingers through his hair roughly to signal his frustration. "Why can't I have both?"

"Both?" The queen sneers with ridicule. "You can't expect to have the crown and also-" she points at me with her stubby finger with accusation, "and him."

Wilhelm's eyes dance over to me, then away. "Why?"

"Because that's not how the world works," she shakes her head as if to further validate her point. "Do you know what this means? Do you want to be seen in public with him? Do you know what people are going to say? I don't want that for you, son."

I stare down at my shoes to avoid looking at either of them. I can't help but feel the weight lifted off my chest despite the ongoing conflict. Wilhelm finally had the courage to tell his mother, and it's a wobbly first step, but it's something that I thought would never happen. He's admitting his feelings and reassuring the world of who he is, and I've never been more proud of him at this point.

"I just can't believe this," Wilhelm collapses onto the bed, shaking with fury. "You're supposed to be the one to accept me unconditionally, mom. You're supposed to be the one that tells me everything will be okay."

For a brief second, she appears taken back by the impact of his words, but the lines on her face harden. "I only want the best for you."

"No, you only want the best for you."

You tell her, Wille.

Cheering silently in the corner, I'm seeking ways to neutralise the heated conversation. If the queen wasn't the queen, I would've started yelling. But with the power and influence she possesses, it's a better strategy to just remain quiet and keep my mouth shut. Additionally, I don't want her to despise me if she ever ends up being the mother in law.

"You'll see how big of a mistake you're making when you're older," she says quietly, and stands up with exhaustion as if this whole event has taken a greater toll on her body than one might expect. "I'm saying this from love, but you need to keep this a secret."

Wilhelm shakes his head. "I don't want to hide anymore."

"Keep it a secret until you're sure this is what you want," his mother corrects herself.

"But this is who I am."

"You don't know who you are," she practically shouts. "You're too young to know."

***

For a while after she left, I let his head rest against my shoulder, my thumb gently running over the back of his hand in assurance. We're in a pool of silence and unease, no doubt the cogs in our heads turning, the neurons in connection to comprehend the complex thoughts. I hold him to let him know that I'm there, that despite everything, I'm the anchor willing to still the ship in a raging storm. He'll talk when he's ready, and before that, I'm willing to wait.

"I don't know what to say," Wilhelm mumbles after the clocks have completed a quarter of a rotation. "I can't believe she's my mother."

His voice jerks me to reality. "Despite what happened, I'm so proud of you."

"Are you really?" He asks with scepticism.

"Yeah."

"I should've done this a long time ago," Wilhelm laughs bitterly. "Like last Christmas, then maybe things would be different now."

"What matters is that you've accepted who you are, and you had the courage to finally tell the world." I turn to look at him, my eyes glancing over his saddened face, taking in the imperfections that make him beautiful. "That's all it matters, okay? It doesn't matter what happens now."

"But it does," Wilhelm exhales. "What if she sends me away? What if she blackmails you into never talking to me again?"

I pause, barely given any consideration for the aftermath of his outburst. With the power and influence in her hands, she's able to do anything to prevent a royal family embarrassment. Sara and I are both on scholarships at Hillerska, and I wonder for a brief second if Wilhelm will put us in jeopardy. If the queen doesn't send him away, then perhaps maybe she'll kick me out of the school in a subtle way instead.

I don't speak my thoughts, because that'll tip Wilhelm even more over the edge. "You're overthinking it."

It's the wrong thing to say, and I know it. I'm not surprised when Wilhelm stands up and proceeds to glare at me. "Me? I'm overthinking it? I'm being fucking realistic because this is the truth, Simon. You just never think ahead, do you? You have no clue-"

I hold my hands up. "Okay, why are you getting mad at me now?"

"I'm not," and he starts pacing up and down the length of his room. "I'm not mad at you."

"Sure you're not."

The situation is escalating rapidly, and the spark of irritation is igniting within me. I know he has just gone through some pretty shitty things with his mom, and it's completely unfair for me to pick a fight. Yet his words stung, and the pent up anger directed to his mom is becoming alarmingly transferable. For a quick second, I'm aware that I'm behaving like my father.

"I just did all that for you," Wilhelm stares up at the ceiling. "And this is what I get?"

"For me?" I couldn't hold back my sheer surprise, and the bubbling of disappointment in my stomach. "Are you kidding me?"

"All for you, Simon. I did this so I can stop hiding about us. You told me you never wanted to be a secret, so for-"

"You're kidding me right now." Widening my eyes, I stand up. "Don't you dare push this onto me, acting like I'm the one who forced you to do this."

His eyes round on me. "You didn't give me much of a choice, did you?"

"What the fuck has gotten into you?" I almost scream. I can't believe Wilhelm's accusing me of being selfish, of forcing him into telling his mother about us because I never want to be a secret. The fact is that I've told him with honesty about how I feel, and however he interprets that, is how he should act. Making him choose between me or the crown isn't selfish, it's a question I want the answer to so I know when to stop wasting my time if this is nothing more than a childish fling.

"Get out," Wilhelm says calmly, gesturing at the door. "Please just go."

I backtrack immediately, sensing the impact of my lack of sympathy. He has just gone through a heated argument with his mother, who has shown no support for who her son is even with the bare minimum. It's only understandable that he's not thinking clearly or coherently at this moment, and I know he doesn't actually mean the words he's saying. At least I hope so.

"Wille." I match his composure, and relax my face. "Let's handle this like adults."

"I don't think that's a good idea right now." He buries his face into his hands for a second, and blinks a few times to clear his vision. "I just need some space, okay? I'm sorry, but please leave."

***

In the soft glow of light from the lamp, I brush my hand over the crisp pages of the book Wilhelm has given me. It's a brilliant read, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. It has evoked turbulence of emotions while I leaf through its pages, and after our argument, the only thing I can do is bury myself in someone else's story to avoid thinking about life.

I think it's inevitable that Wilhelm and I are meant to reach this moment, it's the bridge of uncertainty, and it's only a matter of time before we see what's meant for us. Either he's willing to choose me above duty, above family, and above the crown. Or we end up as a chapter in a story meant for a hundred more, a fleeting memory, a momentary taste of love.

Two people who almost made it.