make it easy | young royals ✓

three

Simon

Ever since Sara became a boarder, I've moved into the Forest Ridge house following her steps. Sometimes I wonder if mom misses me, and my friends: Ayub and Rosh. I shouldn't feel guilty for longing the nights we spend in my room munching on greasy pizza and playing video games until Sara comes in to tell us to shut up, but I do. It's a sharp reminder of how differently things are becoming.

My mind buzzes with the news of Wilhelm's arrival all day since breakfast, and I haven't been able to shake off those thoughts in my head. During my after-class tutoring session for maths, the teacher told me to: "focus, Simon! You're making silly mistakes!" My leg bounces impatiently during dinner, and I hope no one notices my completely rigid state during breakfast earlier in the day, when I was so sure I was going to walk into first period and see him sitting at the usual table beside mine.

When class started and I glanced up at the clock, five minutes turned into ten, twenty and finally, the bell sounded. I gathered my books and was nearly out of the door when Felice stops me in the nearly empty classroom, her serious eyes bored into mine.

"Are you alright?" She asked, seemingly genuinely concerned. Since Sara's blossoming friendship with her, Felice and I have become almost acquaintances. She's been incredibly vigilant during the past year, and always, always have my back in any situation aroused by other students at the school. "I've heard that you know, Wille's coming back."

All I managed to say was: "yeah, thank you for looking out for me."

I floated through a larger portion of the day in complete oblivion, barely able to jot down notes in class. I know people are watching me, I can feel their eyes burning at the back of my head, and mumbles when I walk past. They're nothing of significance when I can't even order my own thoughts in my head or function normally.

Get it together.

After dinner, I retreat to my room which I share with a mousy haired second year called Otto. He's not in, and I'm glad to have the room fully to myself, salivating the peace before the storm. I walk over to the glass aquarium on my desk, it was a hustle to transport it to Hillerska, but it's worth it. I remember the time when I introduced the fish to Wilhelm in my small bedroom in Bjärstad, and gaze with a pang of emptiness at the lit-up interior of the mimicked ocean.

In the haste of nostalgia, I almost miss the sound of notification on my phone. It buzzes loudly on the wooden table, and I look down, my eyebrows swiftly furrowing together.

Wilhelm has liked your post. I scroll, taking a shaky seat on the bed. Wilhelm has sent you a message.

My first utmost reaction is that it's a troll account, but I go through his profile, and sees he's followed by August and a few others from Hillerska. I can tell it's an account newly made in the recent days, and it's private, the following button posing solidly as a gate to curiosity.

I refrain from doing anything, and put the phone down, running a hand through my hair and closing my eyes.

When he left for an indefinite period of time, the world lost its vibrance. The classes were monotonous, the bites of food began tasting like wet cardboard, and the sky's hue faded. For a while, I lived like a machine. Smiled when I should've, ate mechanically at meals, prioritised school work and the rowing team. It was difficult to peel my eyes away from any news about the prince, and even though I tried to stay in contact, his replies were dull, and I often wondered if he didn't want to talk to me. There's a part within me that blamed him for everything, for being a coward, for being selfish, but it's minuscule compared to the anguish and heartbreak.

I can't help but feel that same outrage as I slide open his message, thinking bitterly: he only wants to reach out when it's convenient for him.