if i die tomorrow - permanent hiatus

guitar

A/N: Later in the chapter I will use this song. 

     I was driven by the sheer, overwhelming power of hope. By each second ticking by, it burnt brighter, fiercer, took more from my exhausted body as its endless fuel. I knew what it looked like when a body had no more to give, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I was so close, so close to the answer to all the questions plaguing me. I could put it off a while longer.

     Sadie grew quieter and quieter as the hours trickled out of our fingertips. I didn't notice, caught up in my own invisible whirlwind, my own turmoil.

     I fixed my eyes to the peak of Mt. Lanayru, the spotlessly pure, dazzling snow flashing the afternoon sun into my eyes. With every step it grew closer. The third note. A solution. Peace for the demons at last.

     My heart was pounding in my throat, the fiery threads of hope wrapped so tightly around it that I could hardly breathe, hardly feel its frantic beat. I lengthened my strides. Sadie's legs were longer than mine, but she still had to fight to keep up.

     I noted this with savage pleasure. It was as though I had forgotten what it was like to be tired, or to feel another's pain. All I could see was the mountain, swaying ever closer with each step.

     I didn't want think about what it would feel like after the climb, to see the place we had visited together on the last day when everything was still alright, to see the slumbering Spring encased in snow and know that I was intruding on Zelda's rightful place. 

     Even then the Goddess denied her the salvation she so desperately needed, denied her one last comfort before everything fell to pieces.

     No. I was getting too fond of blaming the Goddess. It wasn't her duty to watch over her, it was mine. It wasn't her that had failed, it was me. Me. Me.

     So I would meet this final challenge with the courage that had evaded me when I needed it the most. I would not falter. Not now.

     I pushed forwards. Already I was feeling the bite of the mountain air nipping at my bones. 

     "Let's stop." Sadie's voice cut through my thoughts. "We can reach it easily in the morning."

     I hesitated, then nodded. 

     We ducked into a stretch of woods flanking the path, pushing through the tangled branches. I let my mind wander as we set up our temporary camp.

     Sadie was hugging her guitar as she sat down against the study trunk of a tree, her hastily tied back hair falling over its black case. She had never complained about it being heavy in this hectic mess of a week, even as she ran for her life from monsters, even as she trekked against the setting sun. 

     I didn't understand why she still hadn't discarded it, as she rubbed her shoulders silently, raised her eyes to the sky. Why she would take on such a useless liability. 

     Sentiment, I supposed. The shared enemy of all of mankind.

     Sadie broke the silence first. "Do you want to keep watch, or should I?"

     I waved her off wearily. She nodded and left, swinging the guitar case slightly as she walked away.

     I would probably let monsters break through the camp without even lifting a finger if I tried to take watch. Sadie was simply more reliable than I was.

     I sighed, sinking into the earth. 

     Pain was flaring up yet again. The pills must have been wearing off. When was the last time I had taken the painkillers?