if i die tomorrow - permanent hiatus

touch

     I stood with my back to you, leaning on my Sword with my ears pricked and listening for both danger and you, as you held your hands up in prayer, holding down shivers in the frigid waters of the Spring of Power. Your eyes were closed, lips slightly parted, whispering words I would never hear nor understand.  

     You were snow pale, the rosy colour in your cheeks leeched by whatever it was you were doing for the Goddesses to see, to finally give you some consolation. Despair and a horrible, hollow ache radiated out of your solitary form.

     I turned my head back. It was not my place to watch your ritual.

     And I knew you would never accept my help if I offered, so I stayed silent and listened to the endless pouring of the crystalline waters down to a serene flow by your feet, to the shuffling in your tight dress as you incessantly tried to shake off the stiffness in your spine. 

     My heart ached for you, but I did nothing. Said nothing.

     I stared at the grass peeking bravely through the soil beside my feet, watching the sun paint these blades of green a warm gold.

     Normally being out here, intertwining branches sculpting a canopy of cool shade over my head, birdsong and the rustling of leaves filling the world's silence, with no one but you and my own mind keeping me company, it would have been paradise. 

     Well, perhaps it could have been better without you. 

     And yet the chains were heavy. I knew I couldn't indulge in the illusion of peace. Not when I couldn't shake these chains.

     I kept on listening to the rushing waters of the Spring of Power.

     I lost track of time. The sun was now slanted and a red-golden colour, slicing across the treetops and scattered to the ground like tiny stars in a night sky of earth.

     I turned, startled, as you staggered out of the water and collapsed at the edge of the Spring, fighting for breath. Tears streamed down your face and you trembled, as though the prayer had taken something from you, your energy, your fiery spirit. 

     Now you were a terrified little girl, seeking any form of comfort, of warmth, some human contact other than criticism thrown at you from every direction.

    It was the first time I'd ever seen you cry.

     And it caught me so off guard, because I thought you didn't trust me enough to show me such weakness.

     I didn't understand why the hard knot at my stomach tightened, seeing you like this.

     I acted without thinking.

     I hesitantly wrapped my arms around your shaking form, waiting for your retaliation. Instead, you leaned back into me, exhaling softly. Your dress was dripping ice-cold water onto my lap.

     So I dragged you away from the water that had brought you such pain and settled you, barely conscious, against a tree, laying your head against its sturdy trunk. You were sobbing even into your troubled sleep.

     Not quite knowing what to do with myself as you sank into broken rest, I sat by you, my chin on the butt of my sword. 

     The dying embers of sunlight was overtaken by the silver of the moon. You jerked awake, momentarily confused, turning your wide eyes on me. My heart starting to pound, I edged a little bit further from you, although it was a bit late to do that now.

     "So I collapsed again." You voice was filled with self-reproach as you looked away, to stare at your feet. "Of course."

     Then in one swift motion, you stood frostily up and walked away to the horses, deliberately not looking at me. I hurried to follow, wanting to speak, and yet, fearing it so much.

     Your hands slowed suddenly on the saddles. Then you turned to look dead in my eyes.

     "Isn't it my fault?" You murmured, the moonlight dancing in your glassy eyes. "Why do I take it out on you?"

     My breath caught. 

     Honestly, I was okay with that. It was better than you keeping it bottled up within you. I didn't mind, of course. You had every right to shout at me, to hate me as much as you wanted to. 

     You sighed, lowering your gaze. I caught a glimpse of tears brimming before you twisted your head sharply away.

     "Let's return. We have dallied for long enough here." Your voice was back to the crisp, cool tone I was so familiar with. 

     The trip back to Hyrule Castle was silent, as it always was.

A/N: Yes, these memory scenes every other chapter are not in chronological order. It's just a jumbled up collection of scenes from the backstory, for the reader to piece together themselves. I hope that's not too terribly detracting :)