Kayla snuck out my window earlier to get her dress and and makeup for tonight as I dragged around my room remembering the things I hated most of myself. Like the hiding places I had in my room.
I pull down the bear from my closet and pull loose one blade and twirl it around, all this time and still didn't find them. God I wished they had. Maybe then I wouldn't be wanting this. But I do. And I will do it. I always do. What's the worst that could happen anyways? Slipping in and out of my bathroom in the span of 15 minutes gave me enough time to check what time it was. 3pm. Kayla would be here any minute. I quickly throw together a typical outfit of mine for a summer party. Shredded black jeans and maroon crop top. At least the pants can hide what I want hidden.
After 5 minutes Kayla runs up my stairs with two dresses and a wide Devils grin.
"You thought you'd get away with wearing that?"
"No. But it was worth a try."
Momma barges in and looks me up and down as she rummages through my closet.
"If you're going to that party I heard about last week then you should wear a dress. Like Kayla."
God momma could make me feel so insecure for being myself. Nodding I looked at the two dresses Kayla brought
"Which one are you gonna wear love bug?"
I lifted an eyebrow eyeing the lace one. God it looked so pretty. It wasn't too classy and it wasn't to "slutty" either. It was perfect. I nearly wanted to try it on myself.
"Wear the lace one love bug." As I said that I reached into my closet pulling out my favorite dress. A plaid corset top dress with a high low black bottom. I grinned at it as I slid it on and hid my legs.
The next two hours were spent on Kayla's and my hair and makeup. Kayla looked like beauty and I guess I'd be the beast but in a girl form. I grinned pinning the last pin place in her hair as we tip toed down the stairs carrying our heels to the door with us. For a summer night it was rather windy which lead my thoughts to go into over drive over what I'd done. The thought sometimes could destroy me. I held my dress down and focused on our destination. Nathan's house. His parties always consisted of drinking and extremely over the top themes. Even had a sex scandal going on upstairs one time. Sometimes I think that's all he does it for.
Walking up to his doorway Nathan runs straight to me and Kayla hug her first and then staring at me. Was I that unappealing? After what felt like an infinity of his eyes on me I felt his arms go around me and lead me into the door. I reached for Kayla's hand and o my found a drink in return. Looking for her I sipped the drink seeing her with some boy I never noticed around her. Who was he? I felt
My body turned to ice as I searched for another drink or drug that'd make me forget what I'm feeling. Iced and covered in black I find a drink that suits my needs.
