School is back and it's 2015 , what a surprise. Nothing's changed other than I don't want to go back to school, at all. I like school but when I get s break from it its like a relief. I don't have to hide myself, I don't have to pray that I get called on in class, I don't have to do anything. I can be me and sit in my sweatpants and do nothing.
Maybe the sadness i feel is because of missing Alex. He's been gone so long now. It truly hurts. I have the habit of always talking to Kayla about him and I know she's fed up by it and wished I'd just stop bringing him up, but how can I? He seems to be all that runs through my mind unless I'm kept busy with another topic. Kayla seems really good at keeping me on other topics. She really did help.
Still coming over tonight right? ~text to Kayla
I always had Kayla coming over or I was going over there and today she was coming to my house. We planned a night of Netflix and video game playing. I knew it'd be fun but I couldn't get excited. I'd get excited and then my mind would run off to the name Alex and it'd be lost to despair. I felt like such a nuisance that I could only seem to bring him up. It needed to stop. I was going insane and I know Kayla was too.
Kayla seemed happier since we started talking, I don't know from what, but she seemed happier in ways. It could be all a false show but she seemed to have something she wanted to live for right now and that made me happy. I wanted her to be that way. I really had hope that something good could happen and make her feel nice at least for a little while. After all she'd become my best friend. How can you not hope for the best for them?
