Minor Inconveniences {Poetry}

All The Things I Never Said

Disclaimer: This one is my all-time favorite poem. It's a six-month journey through the worst part of my depression, where I wrote one line or phrase a day. Some of it will make sense, some of it won't. It's kind of like a list poem.

(Trigger Warning: Depression)

I'm heartbroken.

I hate having to see you every day.

I'm so anxious.

Sometimes I'm happy.

Sometimes I'm not.

Sometimes words hurt.

Please stop talking, your voice annoys me.

I just wanna go back to bed.

Or listen to music

Just to tune you out.

Is your attention really worth my time?

I'm a failure.

My attention span is too small for your BS.

I love how you think I'm listening to you.

I'm not.

I hope you know I don't give a shit about your opinion.

I'm an open book, you can't find dirt on me even if you tried.

People are bitches.

Cat-calling is offensive.

And I don't like you.

I know you have no idea what I'm talking about. Just listen.

I was gonna do that,

then you told me to do it so now I'm not going to.

Sucks for you ig.

Shut the hell up.

I'm not seeking attention, I just breathed loudly.

Goddamn.

No, I don't like working here.

I just can't tell you that because you're my boss.

So it turns out I suck at physics.

Why is it I'm not good at some things but great at others.

Apparently I'm not good at much.

You grow up being told you can do anything.

Seems adults like to lie.

I'm just glad I can rely on myself.

Sometimes that's all you have.

Because adults like jumping into your business

When all you wanna do is scream.

And I'm done with their shit.

No one cares

I'm well aware of that

And my heart stumbles when you blow me off.

I could fill the world with the things I love about you

and it still wouldn't be enough,

But you still don't care, do you?

Because no one ever sees me

Meek

Meager

Me.

It doesn't pay to be a good student

A good person

If no one ever sees you

You're left with the short stick

Because I sacrifice myself

And they get all the credit.

It's strange how blame works

You think you'll be okay

Because you did nothing wrong

But it turns out

You're the one at fault anyway.

You are the reason

I used to wake up in the morning,

But I've glued my eyes shut

In the hopes I never will again.

But even in my dreams

You face pinpricks my heart.

I'm uncomfortable.

I don't want to face you

And yet here I am.

Sometimes I lay in bed in the morning

Hoping I never need to get up,

Because not moving

Is so much easier than figuring out my life.

And when you come to get me

I get pissed off

because I don't want to face my problems

Which all start

From getting out of my damn bed.

I am beautiful.

No matter what I look like, I know I am.

And I don't give a shit about your opinion

Because I'm not perfect,

And you're far from it.

How dare you.

My sexuality isn't a thing to poke fun at.

I don't make fun of you for liking the opposite gender

So why do I

Get made fun of

For being bisexual?

I miss you.

Not too much,

But enough to make my heart ache late at night.

Not because I loved you.

No, never,

But because you made me feel wanted.

And I want that.

I'm upset.

I'm okay.

I'm not so sure anymore.

I love you.

Just kidding.

Help me.

Leave me alone.

You're the reason I struggle,

But you're the reason I live.

I'm not okay.

Because I'm heartbroken.

Thanks for everything,

Thanks for nothing...

...I'm disappointed.