Born of starlight and shadows

~Part one (e) New Connections?~

As soon as the bell rang, signaling the end of fifth period, I sped-walked to the nearest bathroom and locked myself in a stall, barely even noticing the tiny space. I could still hear the clamor of the hallway, but it was quieter in here, and that was all I cared about.

I couldn't stay in here for longer than a few minutes, though. It would have to be enough time for me to pull myself together.

I leaned my head against the wall, even though I knew I was in a school bathroom and there were all kinds of grossness lurking about. In a strange way, the solidness of it was comforting.

The things people had written on the wall, not so much.

I closed my eyes for a moment and made myself take a deep breath. I had survived a day of high school before. I could do it again.

Of course, every time I'd done so, I'd known who I was.

Well, all right. I knew who I was now. I was Stella Williams. But ever since yesterday afternoon, I felt like my life had grown more and more unstable. If my parents weren't really my parents, then might other things not be as they seem?

I didn't know. I didn't want to know.

Order was good; chaos was not. I truly hoped I wouldn't experience any more life-altering, mind-boggling events soon. I liked knowing what way life was taking me. I liked being in control.

Maybe that was why I stayed in the bathroom stall for a minute longer. I didn't want to have to go to class just yet. School got me an education, yes, but whenever I was here, it felt as though I was being constrained.

In some ways, however, it was freeing to be by myself, if only for a little while. I had spent a great deal of time alone, especially lately, and I often hated it. Sometimes, though, I loved it. When I was in a crowd of people, I felt left out. Like I was missing something.

But at times like now, it was just nice not to wonder if the people around me noticed me at all, or if they cared. Or how much they cared. How much I mattered, really.

I couldn't stay here any longer, though. The smell was beginning to bother me, and the bell was about to ring. So I carefully took my backpack off of the hook (putting it on the floor would have been unjustifiably disgusting), unlocked the door, and walked towards the sink so I could wash my hands. I'd only touched the lock on the door for a moment, but my hands felt nasty.

I pushed my hand against the soap dispenser, hoping, hoping, hoping that it wouldn't be empty. My little hand sanitizer keychain had run out just the other day.

"Yes!" I said aloud.

No one was in the bathroom anyway, so I didn't have to worry about someone overhearing.

With my free hand, I turned on the faucet. Cold water jetted out.

The door creaked open and a girl walked in as I was washing my hands. She was wearing a pair of headphones and had short, chin length, light brown hair.

I turned off the faucet right as the bell rang.

The girl yanked her headphones off her ears so they rested on her neck.

"Yep," she muttered to herself. "That was the bell."

She looked around the bathroom for a moment. When she noticed me, her eyes grew wide. She turned around and left the bathroom without a second glance.

That was weird, I thought.

But I didn't think about it for long. I needed to get to class, and though a few moments ago, school had sounded like the last thing in the world, now a bit of normalcy sounded amazing. By leaving the bathroom and heading to World History, I was falling back into a routine I'd established in the beginning of the school year.