𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐞 [𝐤𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞]

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 - 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢

It's cold.

Desolated in the broken outskirts of the village, the cemetery, she slowly walks from grave to grave.

The depth of the ocean is followed by waves of despair.  The shade of night invaded her cool brown skin, untouched yet bruised. The weathered stone that held her loved ones, lies cold under the ground. She had brought two white carnations for the pair of gravestones connected to each other. Delicate fingers burn an incense stick and cleanse the night, the wonderful scent stung her nostrils. 

Her hair and eyes matching the color of the snow. She sat on the ground quietly praying. 

Not once did she ever feel secure, conditioned to feel unsafe due to her lineage. Her loved ones that laid beneath the ground, believed that Konoha is the place where they can live a peaceful life, but with them gone that was no longer possible. She continued to sink, the emptiness taunting her. An empty home made her feel lonely, having to sleep with one eye open and a blade on her back made her heartsick. 

She's drowning and the desire to leave this place grew, the tempting offer to abandon the life of a shinobi was at the tip of her heart. With her loved ones gone, she had lost faith in the idea of a peaceful life in Konoha. Cold disgusting seawater invaded her heart, so why was he here?

The night sky was joined by a shining moon. Moonlight broke through, as she felt the warmth of another kid sitting right behind her. He didn't say a single thing, keeping his eyes away from the girl. 

...

She licked her lips, the wind slapping her face back to reality. "Why are you here Kakashi?"

"The same reason you're here, Hanai."

Her white eyes gaze at her brown toes. A headspace that is impossible to imagine, unless you lost someone you thought you couldn't live without. "Kakashi, you know..." She leaned back, pressing her back against his. "I killed my real family...it was an accident, but I still did it." 

...

"So that's why you're leaving?" Kakashi asked. 

The edge of her lips curls softly, fully aware that he had figured it out. "It's part of it."

Losing her loved ones, caused her surroundings to turn upside down, falling into the depths of darkness. Unwanted, unloved, uncared for. Hanai's dream to earn the village's love and acceptance, no longer felt possible. All her effort and attention was put into the village, and she tried so damn hard for it to love her as much as she loved them, but the sick reality is that Konoha will never love her. She wouldn't get her happy ending here. 

"But do you want to leave?" Kakashi asked the selfish question that she had been avoiding. Pinkies intertwined as it hits her.

It hits her hard. Tears flow out like a rapid river and her lips quiver. Her heart beats out of her chest, curling all her fingers around his hand. 

Truth is, she didn't want to leave. A glimpse of that so-called peaceful life made her selfish. She wanted to live in Konoha, she wanted to protect the village, she wanted to turn all her pain and anguish into overflowing compassion for others. 

But most of all, she didn't want to leave Kakashi.