letters [max verstappen]

25

I frowned and spun around. "Tell Max what?" He and George looked at me, shocked and almost guilty expressions on their faces. I repeated my question, and the four of them looked at each other awkwardly.

Alex sighed. "You might want to sit down." I did as he said as Dr. Martin politely excused himself from the room. I sat on the edge of my bed, and the four boys joined me, Alex sitting the closest. I hated when he got serious, he was supposed to be the goofy, easygoing one who always made me smile. "Max has been here the whole time." He started slowly. I looked at him confused. No, he hasn't. I haven't seen him. "He's been out in the waiting room almost every day, even when you were asleep he still waited outside because he knew you wouldn't want him in here. So, every time there's an update about your condition, someone goes and tells him." Alex explained.

I couldn't speak. Just thinking about Max sitting alone in a dingy hospital waiting room for the past two months, never knowing when he was going to hear something next broke my heart. My eyes started to water as I couldn't comprehend how much pain I had put him through, and what his actions meant. Maybe he did still love me? I knew what I needed to do. I finally swallowed. "I need you guys to do something for me."

Alex nodded, a grave look on his face. "Yeah, anything."

"Go to my apartment. In the top drawer of my left bedside table, there is a cream envelope with my name on it. Bring it back, give it to Max, and tell him I want to see him." I said. All four of them could see the conflict on my face, but George just got up, grabbed Callum, and left.

"Becks, are you going to talk to him?" Alex asked quietly.

I nodded. "I have to. I can't imagine how much pain he's been through."

"But remember how much pain he put you through." He reminded me. Alex and I hadn't met yet when Max and I first dated, but instead, he met me while I was going through one of the toughest periods of my life because of the break-up. All he knew about was the pain.

"I could have died." I stated, and no one spoke. "I don't even want to think about what may have happened to him if that happened and he thought I hated him. I need him to know I'm sorry. That I don't hate him." That I still love him. I thought, but there was no way I could tell him that today.

Within a few hours, George and Callum were back, Max right behind them. Alex and Lando got up and left with George and Callum, Lando giving Max a pat of encouragement as they walked past him. He walked further in, the familiar letter held delicately in his hand and sat down in a chair at the corner of the bed. I got a close look at him for the first time in real life in over a year. He had grown in height and gotten lankier, he looked like a true F1 driver now with his lean limbs and muscular neck. His jawline had gotten more pronounced as well, and he had the tiniest bit of stubble on his face. He was as handsome as ever.

"Hi." I said softly, sitting crisscrossed on the bed.

"Hi." He responded. We sat there for a while in silence just staring at each other. "You kept the letter."

I nodded. "I want you to read it to me. That's what I always wanted."

He bit his lip and nodded, breaking the seal open and pulling out the piece of paper inside, and starting to read from it. "August 26, 2016." He started, and I could tell how nervous he was. "I don't know what to say. I've just made the worst mistake of my life by letting you go. You don't want to hear excuses, so I'm not going to give them to you. I know you don't like my dad, and I'm going to try to fix things with him. I care about him, just like I care about you. But my heart feels like it's shattered knowing how much I hurt you." I heard his voice start to crack and he paused. "I'm not asking for your forgiveness, because I don't deserve that. I made my mistake. But, I hope that you know that from the bottom of my heart I want you to find someone who is best for you in life. I hope you can find them one day because clearly, it wasn't me. I love you, and what I've learned is that sometimes loving someone means you know they will find something better. You're going to go so far in life, and I can't wait to see all this history you're going to make, even if it is from a distance." He paused one final time. "I love you. Goodbye." The tears were streaming down my face and he looked shocked at my reaction when he looked up from the letter to meet my eyes. "Um...you should know that I still love you." He sniffled. "And that my dad has no control over my career anymore. Now he's trying to just be my dad, and it's going much better."