It Begins In A Hospital

Chapter 4

Avery POV

The nurse led me down the hall and into an elevator, and we met my mom outside the hospital doors. She hugged me tightly and cried into my hair.

“Mom, its alright. I’m okay,” I say, rubbing her back.

“You scared us, Avery,” My mom scolded.

“I know. I’m not going to do it again, I promise. I’ll get on some medication, I’ll get help. I promise,” I whisper, pulling her away from me to look at her.

She wipes her tears away and I do too, and we head to the car with the nurse. The drive home was short, about a half hour, in which my mom made friendly conversation with the nurse, asking her about her family and everything. We pull into the driveway shortly after, and I push open the car door, and suddenly something’s taking over me, and I’m running through the door, past my family in the living room, who obviously stayed home to see me. I push open my door, and slam it shut. I collapse on the the floor in sobs. Oh god, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. I’m not coming home for a while. I’m staying there, I think to myself as everything hits me. My mom slowly pushes the door open as I’m lying on the floor, and she walks in, the nurse following her.

“I’m not staying for just one night, am I? They don’t really need the tests to decide if I’m staying, do they?” I whimper.

Neither my mom nor the nurse can look me in the eye, let alone give me an answer. A heavy silence sets in around us, and the acknowledgment floats in the air. I ask for a few minutes alone, and I toss a large duffle bag onto my bed. I throw in all my pairs of pants, a few tank tops, and a bunch of tee shirts. I stuff underwear, bras, and socks  into the bottom of the bag, and top it off with a few hoodies. I grab my phone and iPod chargers and tuck them into one of the duffles pockets. I pick up a couple new books and store them with my clothes. I toss my makeup, perfume, and hair crap into the bag as well, and I zip it up and put it on the floor. I pull my comforter off my neatly made bed, and I fold it up and throw it over my arm, picking up my duffle at the same time. I walk out of my room, staring at it for a moment before wrestling with the door to shut it. I stumble down the stairs and throw my blanket on the end of the couch, and place my bag by the door. My dad gets up and crosses the room and pulls me in a tight hug, kissing my head. My older brother crosses the room as well, hugging me, telling me to call or text him any time, and to listen to some new bands. I smile and tell him I will, and the I squat down to be shorter to greet my little brother. He cautiously hides behind my dads leg, and I hold out my arms for him.

“Hey, Aiden, come here,” I encourage, and the five year old’s little feet slowly pitter-patter across the room.

“Avey, where are you going?” He asks as I scoop him up, his legs wrapping around my waist.

“I’m just going away for a while, because I’m a little sick, and I need to go get better. I won’t be gone too long, I promise. And you and mom and dad and Carter can come see me any time, okay?” I tell him.


“Yeah, I’ll even take you tomorrow,” Carter pipes up from across the room.

“Okay? It’ll go by quick, I promise,” I tell him, before squeezing him and giving him a kiss goodbye.

As I’m about to walk out the door, the nurse has us gather around each other so she can take a picture of the family.

“Standard for all patients,” she explains quickly, snapping the photo.

I grab my bag and stuff it in the trunk, and then get in the backseat with my blanket. My brothers and dad stand on the porch, almost planned, as they stood in age order, from my dad, at forty five, to Carter, at eighteen, and then Aiden, at five. I smile, and look at my mom as she pulls the car out of the driveway. At forty four, she didn’t look old enough to have an eighteen year old son, a seventeen year old daughter, and a five year old son, especially with no kids in between. I suddenly remember something and I fish around for my phone, finally pulling it from one of my pockets. I call Carter, my voice breaking slightly as I spoke.

“Hey. Don’t tell anyone in school what happened, okay? I’ll figure it out when I come back, I promise. I’m not telling anyone, so please make sure nothing gets out, okay? And if you hear rumors, you’ll let me know?” I ask.

“Yeah, of course. I promise. And, I’ll get your homework and notes for you, too,” He says.

“Thanks Carter. Take care of Aiden for me,” I say, hanging up.

The drive back to the hospital seems quicker than before, and when we pull up in front of the building, my stomach turns. I knew I messed up, and now I had to fix it. My mother pulls the car into a parking space and I climb out of the vehicle, grabbing my blanket, and retrieving my bag. I drop them on the ground and gave my mom a hug, trying to hide my tears as we said goodbye, for who knows how long. She whispers in my ear that she loved me and I whisper that I’m sorry, and we broke away, and I drag myself through the sliding doors of the hospital. I follow the nurse onto an elevator, and as the small moving room dinged!  to inform us that we were on the right floor, I was greeted with the partially familiar main hallway of the Bellview Hospital Psychiatric Ward. The nurse walks me over to the main desk, where she signs me back in, and then takes my bag to check it. Once she had decided that I had nothing problematic in my bag, it was returned to me, and I am dismissed. As I turn to head back to my room, she calls out to me, and I rotate back to face her. She tugs on my left hand, and when my wrist is visible, she secures a thick plastic bracelet there, complete with barcodes and ID numbers; patient information and all. I sigh, and carry myself down to my room. The door is cracked slightly, and I push it open, so I can fit through the door with my bag. Ethan is sitting on his bed, and his head pops up when he sees me. He quickly scrambles out of the bed towards me, extending his arm and reaching for my bag.

“Here, lemme get that,” He offers.

I’m about to turn him down when I realize that I’m struggling, and I nod shyly, as he grips the handle and stores my bag in a corner near my bed. I throw my blanket and myself onto the bed, curling up in its warmth.

“Hey,” Ethan whispers, poking my leg under all the blanket, “Wake up.”

I roll over and glare at him, and then laugh, and roll back, closing my eyes again.

“Seriously, Avery, we gotta go get you a schedule, this free period ends in a half an hour, and you can’t stay by yourself next period, its against the rules,” He says, and I groan, dragging myself out of bed.

I follow him down the hallway, and I take in his appearance. His dark hair, his light blue eyes, his height, the way he walks, talks, everything. I smile, and he smiles back.

Maybe I found something good in this fucked up world. Maybe we both did.

Ethan POV

As Avery and I walk down to the front desk to get her a schedule, I can’t help but notice that she’s down about something. I’ll ask her about it tonight, I decide, and then, for a second, I look at her, really look at her, and I notice the slight red under her bright green eyes, and her fiery auburn hair that’s trying slightly to cover it up as it rests upon her forehead. She’s been crying, I note. Too soon, we’re standing in front of the front desk, and I explain that Avery needs a schedule. They ask her a few questions, about her classes in school and her interests and activities. They print her out a schedule, and she studies it for a moment, then nods, satisfied, and we head back to the room. She stares at her schedule longer than possible, and I ask her what was bothering her.

“Oh, nothing. Everything is just kind of hitting me, and its just hard to handle,” She says.

I nod, understanding, and she puts her schedule on the in between both our beds, and she curls up into bed once more, for the remaining fifteen minutes of free period.

“Mind if I look at you schedule?” I ask, sitting on my bed.

“Go ahead,” She yawns, closing her eyes.

I study over her schedule, noting the ‘classes’ and activities we have together. She yawns again and shifts in her bed, and I watch her for a moment, her hair falling perfectly around her face. I grab my camera from pocket, and snap a picture of her. Just as I’m storing my camera, a nurse comes in, the same one who went home with Avery. She tapes up a small picture of her family next to Avery’s napping head, up on the wall. I turn to look at my picture, in the same general location above my bed. I see my mom, scowling, and my dad, drunk, and I’m standing in between them, head lowered, eyes hidden. I turn away and look at Avery’s picture. Her large family is perched on a couch, and I see her mom, smiling slightly, with tears on her cheek. Her dad looks tired and sad, with his lips turned upward carefully. I recognize her older brother, Carter. I had a few classes with his this year. Then, on Avery’s lap, is a little boy, about five years old. I smile back at the people in the photo, and laugh at myself.

Maybe this stay here this time wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Ethan on the side.