Daughter of the Moon - Book Three: Fire

Chapter 18.5: It Was Not a Good Idea to Go to the Boiling Rock

- Elara -

Being a follower came with many securities when it came to surviving, but it also came with too many consequences. And those consequences often hurt. A lot.

Zuko and I had followed after Sokka as he hurried to find this Suki character, and once he had located her, he had somehow managed to find a way into her cell to talk to her. But rarely was it ever that simple.

Sokka and Suki's conversation had left me feeling a bit empty inside—not because of the things they said, but the things that weren't said. Zuko and I heard little talking coming from the other side of that metal wall, but it didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on behind closed doors. I had known something like this was going to happen soon enough, but what I didn't understand was why it still hurt.

And I suppose Zuko must have seen it—my pain, that is—because he seemed rather irritated with Sokka once he finally wised up enough to rejoin us (at least, that was the show Zuko was putting on). But it wasn't like we got much of a chance to talk to the Water Tribe boy about it, though, because the moment he had stepped foot in the hallway once again, he turned on his heel with a new hope to find a way to get out of the Boiling Rock.

With Sokka off on his silly little sleuthing mission, there was little left for me to do. Or, more specifically, there was little left for me to do to avoid the inevitable.

I followed after Zuko as he confidently made his way down another prison hallway, stopping only to park himself right in front of another door. In my excitement from earlier, I had foolishly told him who I had seen, and that stupid boy—having somehow recognized the name from the stories I had told him many months ago—went and found her so that I could have a reunion of my own. He told me it was going to be great. He told me that I would be as excited as Sokka once I had the chance to speak to this woman.

What he didn't know was that I wasn't actually excited to see this woman at all. Instead, I only felt guilty, and it had traded places with my excitement almost as quickly as it had come after I had seen her in the courtyard.

I stared nervously at the cell door in front of me, trying to think of something I could say to her. But there was nothing I could say. What could I say to the woman I had failed—the same woman I had thought I had condemned to death?

"You're hesitating..." Zuko suggested nervously as he waited for me to do or say something—anything for that matter—but I remained as still and as lifeless as a statue.

And he was right. I was hesitating.

"I'm not hesitating," I argued once I had gathered my wits about me, completely ignoring the obvious truth. "I'm just making sure that the coast is clear before I go barging into some prisoner's cell."

"I see," Zuko commented kindly as if he actually understood what I was feeling. "Take your time."

And I did take my time. Too much time, probably, but I wasn't taking any chances. I didn't even want to talk to her, and I was certain that she wouldn't want to talk to me.

"You know what?" I eventually asked after an eternity of panicked contemplation. "Maybe I don't need to go in there. I bet it's not even her. It was probably just a trick of the light."

"I'm not letting you go that easily," Zuko responded as I turned to leave, blocking my path so that I couldn't run from one of the things I dreaded most. "And it wasn't a trick of the light, Elara. If what you told me is true, I think you need to talk to her. It might be good for you."

"Please stop pretending you care," I spit back before he could go any further. "It's really getting on my nerves."

Zuko went to argue immediately following my statement, but he cut himself short. He bit his tongue as he shook his head and cast his eyes towards the floor, glancing up only to glare daggers through the cell door as an awkward silence settled between the two of us.