Day 1
Dear crush:
Before we do all this there are several things you need to know, things that you need to be aware of. It's not easy for me and I don't expect it to be easy for you. I don't usually talk about this stuff. But I just wanted you to know that there are sides of me that you might not like and even if you tolerate them they can be annoying. Just look at me like you look at a coin. I can be feeling good or feeling bad, there's no in between. I'm a roller coaster and trust me when I say that you won't be able to buckle up, so the ride is beyond bumpy.
I'm going to make you mad. I'm going to make you question this whole thing. Hell, I'll even make you question your own existence. I'm sweet, sour and a little psycho. I can be super clingy, super needy, super intense and the following week I can be completely uninterested in everything and anything you have to say. Let me warn you right now, that doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore. I do, I truly do and it's actually when I need you the most, because I don't know what's going on inside of me. I shut down and stop being social, being me.
With love,
Me.
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Day 20
Dear stranger:
It's been a couple of weeks now I'd say. Such a disconnection from you after all we felt. But I'm worried, worried that I'll be walking alone and not looking back. Worried that I'm getting over you and all our love. It scares me that I might not feel anything anymore tomorrow. What if you decide to come back?! What would I do?! Because deep down inside I know you're a good human, I know you'll do anything for me. But your signals are telling me different, you're pushing me aside because you might be too afraid of your real feelings and by pushing I mean not talking to me at all. You're teaching me to live without you, to see life by myself. Is that what you really want?! Because I'm as confused as you are. I don't know what I want but I also know I don't want to loose you or what we have... had... whatever.
Listen closely because I know I tend to leave, I tend to disappear for good. This is a flaw of mine. I'll say good bye and not look back. I always get me out before I'm in too deep, but for you I was ready to commit. I was even picturing my future with you. What happened?! I'm letting you go and believe me that's not my intention but my heart feels like letting you go. It has come to me naturally. I don't want to because I know I love you and I rather be with you than all alone. But you're not here at all this is just not working.
Thanks again for nothing,
Me.
———
Day 31
Dear you:
I saw you today and let me tell you that what I felt so intensely is not longer there. My biggest fear came true. I wanted them to be there, I really did, believe me. I took a look into your eyes just waiting for my soul to spark and nothing. I wanted you to be it. I prayed for you. I even asked you to not leave but you did and I guess coming back will not do you any good anyhow.
Regards,
Me.
———
Day 45
My dearest love:
Today this cloud has started to follow me. I think I miss you. Wait, I do miss you but I wish I could tell you without sounding cheesy or looking crazy because we don't have a relationship and my brain is not able to understand that. I want to see you and hug you but I have no right to ask you for it. My feelings are all over the place, so mixed because you're very unreliable.
Thinking of you,
Me.
——
Day 50
To my soul mate:
How do you do it? How do you make me feel so many emotions all at once? How are your words always so precise? How do you know what to say and when to say it? You make me replay everything we've shared over and over again. I might be obsessing over you again and I'm scared because this feels deep and real. Are you feeling the same way? Or this is all a game for you? I'm still so confused, yet so happy. You make me behave like never before. You bring out this sassy side of me that I love. I know you want to come find me and I'm scared. My heart is going a 100mph. It's so exhilarating and scary and so many things at the same time that I try to explain this mess to myself only to find out that it's all senseless.
And your demons? Can we talk about them? Because you were not like this. So confident, outspoken and direct. I'm starting to like this new you and I'm also dying to taste it. But let me pick your brain. Take me to watch the stars, talk to me like I'm your best friend in the entire world.
Obsessed with you,
Me.
——
Day 65
To my forever love:
And after some time and some thinking I believe we should say good bye; again. Trust me, I don't want to but your lack of communication is pushing me to do so, again. I'm so tired of playing games, I'm so tired of just being an option. I really liked you and I'm not going to lie, it hurts. But hey, good thing this is not my first rodeo. I want to wish you all the happiness you deserve and I hope that someday I find you just to tell you how much you meant to me. But now is time I do what I do best, disappear. I know I'm going to punish myself for a while but I'll get over it. I hate the feeling of a "what if" but if I don't get out now I'll never will.
Thank you for making me laugh, thank you for all the joy and the moments and even the inside jokes. Thank you! I really believed for a minute that we were meant to be. Little did I know you were just another of the many pages my book has. I don't want to look back, I don't want you in my head anymore. But oh boy, I know it's going to be difficult. And I know I deserve better, I deserve somebody that's fully interested in me. I deserve somebody that jumps every time they see my name on their screen and you are not it. But thank you for trying. I hope I kept your ego high. You're just another player dressed as a sheep. And I know I'm hurt and my words are hurting you too. But don't mind me, that's just my defensive side trying to cope with the fact that we're not longer anything anymore. But I'm so lucky to have found you. I've learned so much from you and that I'm taking and keeping. I would've fought harder but this wall you put up is just imposible to overcome. I only needed 5 seconds of your attention and it looks like it was too much to ask.
I wish you nothing but luck and may you find someone that loves you as deeply as I do. Someone who will lose sleep over taking to you. Someone who's face will light up when they see you because that's exactly what you need. And if that someone at the end of the day you think is me I'm imploring you to just let me go and not make me come back. Let me heal, let me grow and find somebody else. I'm trying to pick up all the pieces and glue them together so don't make a new mess out of my heart. I love you but I will always love me more. This is my closure and if you ever need any I'll send this letter to you too.
Wishing you all the best,
Me
YOU ARE READING
Compilation
Short StoryWhy reading one story when you can read a lot more in just one book ✌ Compilations has various stories, some of them fictional and some of them based on true facts. Enjoy the journey!!!
