Compilation

Unlisted needs

He was the guy I always dreamed about and I... I was far from been myself. I remember that night when we randomly met. I remember him flirting with me the moment he saw me. He couldn't get his eyes off me. We were fireworks and he didn't know that deep down inside I was a tornado.

I also remember how he was there for better and for worse. I remember how he anticipated my every need. I remember everything and every little detail. He was what I was looking for after so many years of being alone. He put a pause to my world and made me feel all kinds of things.

  He looked at me the way I waited for ages.  Yet I realized I couldn't be loved. I wasn't ready to be love because I was something else; not just a tornado. I couldn't be just loved; at least not in that way. I wanted love and freedom. I wanted company and solitude. I wanted him and I wanted myself. And he wouldn't understand a single word so I chose to just shut up and lose what I knew I wasn't going to find anywhere else. He was the one that guided me but I needed to continue alone. Conventional things didn't make me happy. I had this hunger for everything. I had this fire that couldn't be extinguished.

  I didn't stop loving him, I just love what was out there way more. I was destined to be by myself and to discover every bizarre metaphor humanity could handle me. I still love him and I want to hold him tight but I am just way more than a girl in love. I am this fearless, empowering, smart, confident, strong figure. The one figure I want to be recognized for. The one figure that wants to eat the world all at once.

  Yet I know I made a mistake. I traded all I had and now I am alone...alone with my ego and my attitude. Silently talking to my strength and to my desires. Has humanity the formula to real happiness? I had mine and wasted it for a not-so-lucid dream. He was almost perfect and I was almost truly in love.