You

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 I was perfectly adapted to this new and sophisticated life I built for myself after your departure. My wings were strong enough to battle any storm. Any...single...storm. But not...DEFINITELY...not you. I had already talked to myself in the shower, mentally preparing for any life adversity. But not for you. I had mastered the act of smiling. I had mastered the art of calculating outcomes in every situation. But not you.

I thought I was in perfect shape to contain myself. I thought I was ready to finally manipulate anyone to my deepest desires. But not you. I was indeed prepared to nod and to speak when it was appropriate. I was ready for life. But not for you.

You, the same you that loved me. The same you that forced me to believe some fantasy. The you that my heart wanted. The you I needed to smell. The you that knew what to say and when to say it. The you that broke my heart. The you that I was looking for in other men. The you that changed my life.

Then you  smiled and I fell for it just to realize that you  were still an asshole and I was still in love. 

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